Remember when...

Wrong Turn

2012-01-23T14:22:00.000-08:00

I promise we had an amazing birthday, Christmas and crazy move. But the pictures will have to wait. We don't have internet set up yet so I've been blogging from my phone.

Today is a Monday. And I've had a bad case of the mondays. I blame it on waking up at 530 to go to a pump class at 6 am. Yes, I got my workout on but now I'm paying the price for waking up that early. I am NOT a morning person. Maybe in my dreams I would be, but usually it turns to a nightmare.

It started with a disappointing drs appointment. Where the big question wasn't answered. Lovely. Go ahead and keep my 30 bucks. Not like I needed it anyway. And you did such a thorough job. You totally earned it. Not.

Then I got a call from my lady and she mentioned how she was helping my sister. And then I turned green. Possibly emerald green. And this is where I took the wrong turn. I sat and felt so sorry for myself. Sorry that we don't have more money. Sorry that finding a suitable and afforable daycare for pman is so hard. Sorry that I have to cook dinner because we really can't afford to eat out (though I would if we could. Like every night.) Sorry that everyone has it easier than me. Sorry that we made a choice to provide for our family and be honest and work hard and not take handouts that are there for those that desperately need them, not because they are there. This sorry lasted only a second. This is the one area where I am truly republican. And proud of it. Then I felt sorry about my car. About how much I dislike it. How I know it needs new tires but those cost a pretty penny. Then I felt sorry for feeling sorry.

And that's when I realized it. I simply took a wrong turn. I forgot to find the joy in my journey. Just for this little bit. I am so grateful I get to go to the gym. I would go crazy if I couldn't. I'm grateful I have insurance and can figure out what's going on. Granted it will be with a new doctor. I am grateful for my sisters and that there lives are full and happy. I am grateful for my mom who does so much to bless other peoples lives I sometimes worry whose taking care of her. I am grateful we have a fridge full of food and that I can cook using fresh vegetables. I am grateful that I have a sister who is watching pman while I get this whole daycare thing figured out. I'm so grateful I only have to work two days. And that I have the best jobs in the world. Mom, wife and speech tech. I love each one tremendously. I'm grateful that Caleb and I are honest, hard working. And that we are paying off our debts on our own. And earning every single dollar we make. That's something I am really grateful for. I am grateful for my car. Sure I want a Chevy traverse. Bad. But that can wait.

Because I am loving this journey. Yes, its hard. So hard. But I've got my best friend to cuddle with a night and laugh about how we are going to enjoy the finer things of life...one day. I'm enjoying this little boy we created. Twos are a hard age, I'm learning. But I've learned to bite my tongue and count to a hundred. And laugh. Cuz this kid is pretty Dang funny. And while I will stress about the bills, the tires and the babysitter. I know that this is not the end. This is the journey. And I'm having one heck of a ride. And today a took a wrong turn. I forgot what really matters. I let myself get distracted by those passing me by. But its ok now. I did a u-turn and I'm back on track. And couldn't be happier. And if you stop by or happen to see me, the Windows were down in the car today, that's why my hair looks like this. Just enjoying the breeze.

A Poem to sum up last night...

2012-01-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

"Oh God, I was so cross to the children today. Forgive me. I was discouraged and tired- and took it out on them. Forgive my bad temper, my impatience and most of all, my yelling. I am so ashamed as I think of it. I want to kneel down by each of their beds, wake them and ask them to forgive me. But I can't. They wouldn't understand. I must go on living with the memory of this awful day, my unjust tirades. Hours later, I can still see the fear in their eyes as they scurried around trying to appease me, thinking my anger and maiacal raving was their fault. Oh God, the pathetic helplessness of children! Their innocence before the awful monster- the enraged adult. And how forgiving they are, hugging me so fervently at bedtime, kissing me goodnight. All I can do is straighten a cover, touch a small head burrowed in a pillow and hope with all my heart that they will forgive me. Lord, in failing these little ones in whom you have put in my keeping, I am failing you. Please let your infinite patience and goodness replenish me tomorrow." - Marjorie Holmes. That was me last night. The "enraged adult". I was mad and he hurt me and I lost it. And the hubs was there and his look of disgust just affirmed my failure. I yelled. At my baby. And then felt like complete and utter failure. And then came home and found this poem my mother in her wisdom and knowledge sent to me when I first had pman. I put it aside, because I was certain I wouldn't ever need it. Oh how I need it. In a world of perfect parenting blogs and never talk about losing it friendships I so needed this. And to say I'm sorry. I am so sorry. But this poem gives me hope, maybe just maybe I'm not alone...

Bring it on

2011-12-29T13:53:00.000-08:00

2012 that is! I am ready for this new year. I can't wait to see what it holds for us. Lives can change in a year and I am excited for some positive changes to come our way! I am in the middle of packing up our house right now. And as I was doing so I had an epiphany; I have too much CRAP. I don't need it. I don't need undershirts in every color of the rainbow, I don't need my high school basketball shoes, I don't need half of the stuff I have. So I made a new years resolution (which is different from a goal) I am going to rid my life of the crap. I am going to get RID of the things I don't NEED. I am giving myself an intervention. There will probably be tears and possibly things from 10 years ago that I just can't give up but I am going to do it. And you know what? I'm really excited! I want to become a minimalist. I don't want clothing to be something that I am attached to, or that I do to fill a void ( I am a shop-a-holic). So any of you out there that have any tools, tricks or advice please share! I'll keep you updated on my progress!

Have a Very Merry Christmas

2011-12-18T18:34:00.000-08:00

Let's be real

2011-12-08T12:28:00.000-08:00

Do you ever read peoples blogs and feel like you have no idea who they really are, or that the seem to have the picture perfect life? Well I do. And that's just not my style. So here's whats going on, on my side of the fence:

We've been busy. Friday night we went to the BYU basketball game at the Energy Solutions and sat on the court. It was awesome. We have been able to do this a few times and it is really fun. And ridiculous. They herd you back during half time and feed you fancy treats and soda and candy and have little goodie bags under your chairs. You can literally smell the players sweat. You can get in fights with the refs. It's been fun and I hope we get to do it a few more times.

Sunday we went to The First Presidency Christmas Devotional. My friend got tickets and took us. It was amazing. The building is always awe inspiring and sitting in the same room as the prophet is always exciting. Plus the beautiful message of the true meaning of Christmas is always a welcome topic. We had a blast.

Monday we went to dinner with friends, it has been too long. So long in fact that the owner of our restaurant sold it and we didn't even know. Prob wont be going back. Tues I had my hair done. Wed we had Caleb's work Christmas party.

Yep, his work Christmas party. Right now I can easily name a 1,000 things I love about the Q. It was really fun and we sat with the best people. We may not have won one of the 6 cruises they handed out but I am grateful Caleb has a good job. I'm pretty sure there will be a movie about Q in a few years. One of the owners talked about gratitude, and how he was grateful for his employees. It was so nice and weird. We should be the ones thanking him.

I want to move. NOW. We found a dead mouse in our kitchen when we got home last night. We are so grateful Porter didn't find it first. I hate sharing a laundry room. I hate hearing things I shouldn't be hearing. I do love how big it is. I know it could be worse. I'm just ready to move on. I found a house to move to. It was big and cheap. It was a scam. I can't stand dishonest people.

The Doctor thinks I may have Celiacs disease. This would totally suck. But I have kinda gone gluten free until I can see the GI Dr. Wow. It is not easy but I totally notice a difference. I can't wait to know. Hopefully I will get an appointment soon.

Porter is growing like a weed. He has so many words AND signs. He is saying 3-4 word sentences and questions. He cracks me up. He loves to sing and dance. But let's be real here people. He learned how to punch. Not sure how, just sure I hate it. We are working on that. Poor kid got my bad temper. Yikes. But really this is my favorite stage. I'm loving almost every minute of this time.

I'm working two days a week and I love it. I love staying on top of my skills and being part of the professional world. I love the students I work with and the staff I work with. I feel like it's the best of two worlds.

Well I guess I'm done ranting. Sometimes I just need to get things off my chest. I'm still itching to move, we are still in Limbo about our future (SO JUST DON"T ASK) I may have to give up a staple in my life= bread. And our sweet little man has learned a new skill. One that hurts. So there.

Four years ago...

2011-11-24T15:06:00.000-08:00

Four years ago we spent our first Thanksgiving as a married couple in Taiwan. This is what we ate. Hot pots. Then we had a hot fudge sunday and saw a movie. I didn't feel like Thanksgiving but that didn't matter. We were together and in Taiwan. Four years later we still aren't with family (though I will be with my sister to go shopping at midnight) and we have our sweet Porter Boy with us. I have a lot to be grateful for. My family is on the top. I don't think I will ever care where or how my Thanksgiving is spent, as long as I have my boys with me.

P.S. I'm ready to go back to Taiwan now.

Boys just want to have fun

2011-11-21T09:11:00.001-08:00

This little boy totally rocks my world. He is so funny. He is very personable and social. He loves to say "hi" and will say it until you respond. He talks with his hands. He loves to give kisses and hugs. He says "wywa (Lyla) dinky (binky) wawa (water) upeaz (up please) cracker, cookie, doggie, efnt(elephant) bed, socks, soes (shoes) off, on, whasat (whats that), elmo, tweet (bird) oh, no, yes, ok, cold,hot, do (two),bubble, ball, book, hat,apple, nana and that's all I can think of. He is starting to use sentences, he will say "wana cooookie, wana cracker, wana off" He signs: signing time, water, elephant, chicken, pig, horse, dog, cat, more, all done, cold,baby, milk, food, and few more I can't think of. He loves to tell you things are hot and have you blow on them. He loves to dance and jump. He also loves to hit me in the face. We're working on that. He gets Time Out in his room with the door closed for one minute. If he is starting to hit and I say you will go in time out if you continue he will say no and stop (sometimes). He is getting some molars and that's always rough. He climbs on everything now. Everything. He understands almost everything I tell him, and if you ask him a question he will answer you. He has a lot to say. I am really loving this stage...

Provo Halloween Half Marathon

2011-11-21T08:49:00.000-08:00

Remember when I ran the St George Marathon and I said I was going to take a break from running? I lied. I have heard so much about this race over my past few years here in P-Town and I really wanted to run it. So I called my sister and she said no, I posted on facebook and my friends just laughed and then I kinda harassed my other friend and she said yes! I knew I didn't want to do this one alone. I was so happy to have a friend. I was the baby from Breaking Dawn. My bib says "My mommy loves a blood sucker" and Janelle was Batgirl. Good times.

Neither one of us trained for this and we were kinda worried it would hurt. And it did. It starts at the BYU lodge up in Sundance and you run down the canyon. And run all the way down Provo Canyon to the Riverwoods. It was definitely a fast course. I couldn't help but run under 8 min miles down the canyon and when it finally leveled I thought my legs were going to break. Then Janelle caught up and said "it's going to hurt anyway, mine as well make it count" And I was like "H-YES!" That's Halloween Half Yes for all you naughty minded people.
So we ran almost the entire way together and I was so glad to have someone to run with. We did some silly posses and talked a bit.
I finished in 1:49 52, a PR. I was 66th in my age division and ran an average pace of 8:22. I always feel like I could have done better but I am so happy with my time. I haven't worked on speed, ever, only distance and for not training I'm happy and proud. This is the first race that Caleb didn't see me finish (but not the last. He also missed me at a 5k a few weeks ago :). The course was beautiful,and the people were entertaining. The only thing I would change would be my wardrobe. I was confused. I thought it would be warm. I was freezing until 10 am the next morning. I even got a cold that turned into a sinus and ear infection. It was seriously cold. Happy running.

Happy Halloween 2011

2011-11-12T13:23:00.000-08:00

These pictures are completely out of order, and that's ok. We had a blast this Halloween. It started early, with a super cute fun Halloween ity bitty party at my sisters house, then I had a Halloween party at work and then our ward trunk-or-treat and then trick-or-treating and then the Beach Resort Halloween party.

Here we are at the Beach resort with some of our favorite people, the Prices. This was the last activity of the night.

They had activities for all the kids, and Porter really loved the bean bag toss.

Porter got this in his trick-or-treat bag and we had a good time with it.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!!! We walked in and they asked if we wanted to enter Pman in the costume contest, I said sure why not. And guess what. He won first place!!! Can you tell I like to win!

This was the moment the announced the winner. I was really excited.

Porter did the catwalk like a real tiger. He walked out waved and blew kisses. I felt bad for the other kids, they didn't stand a chance.

In case you couldn't tell we were the Rubbles from the Flintstones. I was Betty and Pman was BamBam and the Hubs was Barney. (I need to live somewhere warm, I was kinda bugged that the Hubs made Pman wear that shirt under his costume to stay warm. He also made him wear pants to go trick or treating. Unreal)

Here we are Trick or Treating. Porter got the hang of it right away.

His favorite stop was at his girlfriend Kami's house. Kami is the cutest little thing and made an adorable bumble bee. They kinda like each other too.

Walking from house to house. This kid walked right up the door, knocked, attempted to say "trick or treat" stuck his hand the bucket and said "Tank you" Such a pro.

The Boys Club (aka The hubs place of work) had a Halloween lunch and it was fun to visit daddy!

Best trunk ever!

Pman didn't love the Panda....

Here we are with Brianna and Jack (short for Jaquilinn but I don't really know how its spelled) Brianna has become a dear friend and our most common play date, her other little girl Ella is out getting candy.

Porter really got into Character....

We had a wonderful Halloween! The house was decorated, we passed out stickers, playdough and toys ( I don't pass out candy...) and we celebrated all month long. I loved watching this little man of ours figure it all out. I hope we can always do a family theme, but I know he will have his own opinion soon enough!

Qualtrics Halloween Party

2011-11-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

The team Caleb is on at work decided to have a Halloween Party. I was sure it was going to be lame and was already kinda bugged because I had to work that day and felt like it was just one more thing on an already full plate. It ROCKED! Scott, the hubs co-worker and friend planned it and it was better than any ward party I have ever been to. They had Malawi's Pizza for dinner, pinata, pumpkin carving contest (with awesome prizes) and loads more. This is Pman with his favorite lady that night. He was screaming for her to hold him. She was so cute. Please notice Pman is trying to lick the cupcake, proof he really is my kid.

Each kid got a Tick-or-Treat bag full of treats! Porter loves his.

This is our pumpkin. I carved an Owl on a branch. The hubs put hand sanitizer on it and lit it on fire. It was awesome. Wana know how awesome? FIRST PLACE AWESOME! We won $50 bucks to La Jolla Grove at the Riverwoods.

My pumpkin, prior to the lighting...

Porter had a blast with all of the other little people.

Getting the goodies from the pinata!

Pman taking a swing. He has a great arm!

F.H.E

2011-11-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

Also known as Family Home Evening. It's something we do as a family once a week. This week we went to Jack's Pumpkin Patch. It was in Springville and we had a blast!

We got a Papa sized pumpkin, mama sized pumpkin and a just right sized pumpkin. (maybe two)

We went on a hay ride and loved seeing the farm.

Love these boys!

This cow was crazy! It was charging the gate!!

These boys are the best of friends. I love them.

Not sure why Porter looks so worried...

Looking at the animals...

We had a great time at the Pumpkin Patch!

Thanksgiving Point

2011-11-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

Can you tell Pman is teething? Hands.in.the.mouth.all.the.time. Still too cute.

This little lady is so cute! One of Porter's favorite gals.

Only group shot? Not sure how that happened. But there is Corinne, Scott and Lucy, Caleb's brim of his hat, Pman and my giant head. Fun times.

I do Speech Therapy. No way I'm passing on a picture of a uvula! This was a haunted house and we made it about three steps deeper into the throat before we turned around. I went later with Corinne. Or rather I went while Corinne shoved me in front of every possible scary turn.

Porter LOVED the corn mazes. I loved following him around in it.

They had a hard core farm rock show that Porter loved.

Went for a little cow ride. It was so great, we wouldn't have ever seen the parking lot from that angle otherwise...

Ahh my sweet little man. And notice little Lucy at the bottom right. They loved sticking their faces in the slits.

Best family picture ever, courtesy of sun in our eyes.

This one is for my Pa.

Porter "How you doin?"

Playing Catch up, Porter 18 months

2011-10-31T13:43:00.000-07:00

Hey World,

It's me Porter. Yep, the 'rents still call me Pman and I still haven't had my hair cut. Life is good. I will be 19 months in 3 days but we have been so busy I'm a little behind. So far I say: mom, mama,dada doggie, woof-woof, ready-set-go, mmmm, no, yeah, ok, cold, hot, tweet (bird), cookie, nigh-nigh, hi, turtle, hat, vroom, upleas (up please), moo, roar (when looking at a dino). I sign: dad, baby, water, more, please, food, milk, cat, signing time, sit, horse, hot, cold. (I have more words and signs but my mom can't remember and doesn't want to go check the book) I love babies and doggies. I always want to play. I love chase and always end up turning around and running to you. I am getting more teeth, which means I am more interested in eating. I love toast (just like mom) and will eat an entire J-Dawg hot dog (just like dad), I love cucumbers. I am transitioning to one nap a day, kinda. Sometimes I still take two naps, like right now. I stated going to nursery on October 9,2011 and once I saw a chair my size I was happy to climb out of mom's arms and into the chair. I haven't cried about going, yet. Sometimes I hit people and I am trying to remember to have nice hands. I have my moms temper for sure. I sleep from 7:30-7:30, unless the 'rents wake me up earlier. I weigh 24 lbs (remember how sick I was over the summer? still haven't gained it) and am in the 97% for height and 93% fore head size. I love to throw the ball and have quite the arm. People don't believe my mom or dad when they tell them and I usually end up hitting them in the face. I love books and music. I'm having a blast growing up and love life!

Thanks for checking in,

Porter

(I promise we have done more than just go to my races, but I haven't had a chance to update! Things to look forward to: Octoberfest! Halloween! And my HALLOWEEN HALF MARATHON!)

Run Kendra Run (St George Marathon)

2011-10-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

Before summer I entered the lotto to get an entry into the St George Marathon. I entered it on a whim. I was more than shocked when I found out I was selected and would run the ST GEORGE MARATHON! I called up a friend, whose sister in law is a running coach and had her write me up a training program (she is amazing if you want a coach and want to see results let me know and I'll give you her info). Training for this race was a P.A.I.N. Almost every Saturday morning was dedicated to waking up early and running and running and running. Every trip we went on I had to make sure to pack my running shoes. Caleb was for sure my biggest supporter. It really was extremely time consuming and he never complained once. Thanks babe! Well, I called my mom and told her I was running the race and she and my DAD decided to make a trip of it and come cheer for me! I knew my mom would come, but my Dad is super busy and it really meant a lot to me. I may or may not have cried when I found of he was coming!

My sister Katie drove down with us and I am so glad she did. I am really lucky in the sister department. I have three amazing sisters and friends. We ate at Brick Oven and chatted it up!This is me at 4:45 am getting ready to go! I was so very nervous so all I had for breakfast was a pepto and water.
Caleb drove me to the bus station, we got there around 5 and there was a huge line. Can you tell I am scared/tired?
The line in front of me. The line behind was insane!
I was worried we wouldn't make it to the start in time. I was lucky to get on a bus with that guy in front of me. I had enough time to go to the bathroom, walk around, drink, pray and get some nerves out.
This is my goodbye picture. I was worried it would be 5 or 6 hours before I saw my hubs again.
The course was amazing! I was glad I kept my jacket and gloves. I was freezing at the start. I told Caleb and my family I wanted to see them cheer for me at miles 7,12, 16, 22 and the finish. So at mile 7 I was shocked when they weren't there. But I was having a blast. I was doing 8:30 minute miles with ease. They say this is a "downhill" marathon and what they don't say is that there are HILLS you have to climb to go downhill. All the way till mile 22. Luckily I trained with hills, while pushing Porter so it really didn't kill me. I stopped to go pee at mile 12 and had to wait, in total that wasted about 5 minutes of my time. I drank at every aide station and took my gels at mile 9, 12, 15, 18, 22. I should have taken the caffeine one at mile 18. At mile 16 Caleb and Porter were there cheering for me! I was so happy to see them but was having a blast and felt great so I didn't want to stop! At mile 23 my mom and Katie were there cheering for me. They were jumping around tell me to run faster! All I could say was I love you guys! I was still feeling really great at this point. The course turned into a finishing shoot here. Way to mess with my head. They had to make it smaller (similar to a finishing shoot) due to the roads and traffic. Wish I knew that before. This course really was amazing. It was beautiful. I felt great and really this had the BEST cheerers ever! I didn't think my mom or sister would make it to the finish line in time so I was surprised when all of the sudden Caleb was running by me. I totally started to cry! Then he had to stop and I heard this voice screaming "beat the boys" and telling me to go faster and faster and harder. It was my SISTER! I really needed this encouragement and it was because of those screams that I was able to beat the 10 people in front of me. As I was coming towards the finish line I was cheering and screaming for myself! I was so happy and so proud.
This is me kicking it into high gear to beat the few people in front of me!
I crossed the line in four hours and two minutes! My goal was 4 hours. I am more than happy. If I hadn't stopped to go to the bathroom I would have been under four. But guess what? I did it. And I had those people that mean the most to me cheering for me!
I saw a Dad and his son running this race, I cannot wait to run with Porter beside me!
I totally wore my metal the rest of the day/night. Maybe I slept with it. After the race my mom and my sister hocked me up with a 70 ounce Rootbeer and a score bar( I don't drink soda but a rootbeer after a race like this is a must!) I took a nice hot shower/bath and we all got ready. Then we went shopping at the outlets. Then we had a delish lunch at smashburger and the hubs took Porter back to the hotel for a nap while us ladies did some more shopping. And then some more.
We went out for dinner and a bit more shopping!
And ended the night with sweet tooth fairy cupcakes! This is my "I did it shirt".
My mom and dad left really early the next morning and didn't want to wake me but this was outside our room. This race was one of the best experiences of my life. I worked really hard and it wasn't easy. Sometimes I hated running. But it paid off. Big time. I am so grateful my mom and dad came and cheered for me. It means more than they may ever know. I am so grateful my sister gave up 3 days with her family to come cheer for me. Katie, you've become one of my favorite race partners. Let's do a marathon together one day. I needed your cheers at the finish line. Thank you. Hubs, thank you for giving up your Saturday mornings, sometimes for four hours. Thanks for working around my running schedule, thanks for understanding when I had to bring an entire bag just filled with my running stuff on our trips. The one thing that would have made this race better would be to have done it with you. I really miss running with you. Porter, thanks for letting me push you all those miles this summer. I love running with you and cannot wait to run with you by my side. I tried to run fast so I could see you sooner. Now just trying to figure out which marathon to do next....

Gone Country...Aka Our trip to Georgia

2011-10-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

Our entire marriage (over four years) we haven't been able to go to Caleb's parents house. Mainly it is super expensive and mainly because I don't want to spend my birthday/Christmas away from my family. It's complicated =). But when Caleb's little brother Joel joined the Army I knew we needed to get out there before he was gone for years. And luckily I found some pretty amazing tickets. So off we went!

I loaded the pictures the wrong way so it's from finish to start but that's ok!

Porter at a battle field.

Oma and Opa Wilkins and Porter at the battlefield.

Proof that we were there too.

Our awesome ride. It is a mini-mini van and we loved it!

One thing I knew we had to experience in the SOUTH was the food. Porter loved it. His mouth is FULL of fried ham and waffles.

Only one person recommended that we eat at the Waffle house. Sure glad we did. It was delish.

Somehow I didn't get any pictures of Porter with his cousin Shane. This will have to do.

One tired kid.

The hubs and I at one of the few covered bridges.

Caleb and his mom.

So beautiful.

The Chattahoochee river!

This was at the museum for Martin Luther King Jr.

This was an extremely moving museum. The statues are walking towards freedom.

Porter said "hi" to most of them.

My boys.

Here we are in MLK Jr's chapel where he gave his sermons. They restord it to look how it did when he preached there. It was really beautiful. Th stain glass had faces and it was amazing.

Outside of the chapel.

Here we are at the Freedom Walk.

One of the oldest fire stations in Georgia.

At MLK Jr's birthplace door!

Here is the home!

We ate at the Varsity. It's a little bit famous and a lot of bit fun and delish. If you go to Georgia you need to go to the Varsity.

So many reminders that we were in the South. I was worried that my little family of three was what this sign was warning us of!

Inside the varsity!

Of course Porter loved it! We actually had to go and order him more!

Happy family!

And a yummy apple pie to go with it.

Porter met another Porter at Cenntenial Park.

I had visions of him playing at Cennitial park, splashing in the water and laughing. Instead Georgia decieded to rain and have tornados this weekend.

Entering Cenntenial Park.

Tasting Mr. Coke's drink...

View of the Atlanta skyline!

And here we are at the World of Coke. And that's about it. I thought it was free 99 to go to but turns out it's like 30 bucks a person. And after paying for tickets, renting a car, buying food you better believe I was not about to pay to go taste samples of coke when I have actually had the coke from 10 different countries myself. But maybe next time.

We get art.

Caleb and his parents at his Dad's place of work!

This picture is so sweet to me! Opa showing Porter things from his mission in Africa. Opa and Oma are grandpa and grandma in Africans.

As we were leaving the Dinner the tornados started touching down. The sirens were going off!

I was totally disgusted when the waiter brought bread and MANNAISE to the table. A little too country for me.

Leah, Caleb's sister said we should try this place so we all went after we said our goodbyes to Joel. It sure was tasty!

Porter really wanted a hat and he usually gets what he wants!

When we dropped Joel off they gave us some ARMY stuff to show our support. I am not a shy person so you better believe that backpack is packed FULL of goodies.

I went to This is It! And had my first Hush Puppy. It was delish.

Saying goodbye to Joel. His little sisters made cute signs. This family is the most picture taking haters I have ever seen. Luckily I was able to get them to be silly and take a cheerful picture to say "GO JOEL!"

Leah, Shane, Opa, Oma, Joel, Caleb, Porter, Awesome mamma, Kara.

These two were able to get some bonding in. This picture makes me get a little teary eyed.

See what I mean about the picture haters? Daddy, Porter and Uncle Joel.

The family just chillen.

Porter loves his Auntie Kara.

Opa reading some scriptures.

Oh yeah, their a little bit old school! Opa broke out the slides from his mission in Africa. It was one awesome home movie night complete with popcorn!

This is Caleb's highschool football field. It was used in part of the filming of Remember the Titans.

Daddy and Porter at one small part of Caleb's highschool. It used to be a University and it is really the most beautiful campus I have ever seen. Way more beautiful than BYU and that's saying something.

We saw lots of spacious homes!

All in all we had a wonderful time in Georgia! I loved the accents and the slower way of life. I was able to go on a few runs and I felt like I was running in the forest. There are so many trees, and a flock of geese flew over me and I heard them honk! Never had that happen before! It is really beautiful in Georgia. I wish we had loads of money and could go back soon! We had a blast with Caleb's family, his parents HATE Atlanta and I basically had to drag them to go with us! But I think they had a good time too, and they hadn't ever been to MLK JR's birth house or monument before! Everyone was surprised when I said I could live in Georgia. That said, I would want to live in or near Atlanta or at least a bigger city than where Caleb is from. I also don't want my children growing up where racism is rampid. I was always the monority (until we moved to Utah) and never understood rasism. The south is still batteling this, despite being the birthplace for the anti-rascism movement. However, Georgia is beautiful and fun.

See the World...

2011-10-03T08:41:00.000-07:00

At SEA WORLD!!!! While we were living it up in Oceanside we took one day away from the beach and went to SEA WORLD! We had a blast! We were kinda worried that Porter was too young and wouldn't really appreciate it. We couldn't have been more wrong!

Porter with Mattie and Jake. They were so good and showed him all kinds of fish. We miss them!

Porter and Mommy

Cute face so excited to see the penguins!

They have a deal where you can buy an all you can eat food pass. We did it and it was so awesome and worth every little penny. We will definitely do that again!

Porter was so funny during this show. He would grab his snacks and stuff them in his mouth and then drink his milk. Popcorn, drink and a show. All grown up!

Mattie, Jake and Porter in the snow tunnel.

Just having fun!

We went to a ton of show. This one was fun but was very loud and woke Porter up. The best was seeing my bil (bro-in-law) play a part in it!

Too much fun makes Pman a tired boy!

These seals were my favorite part! They just yell at you until you feed them!

Porter and Daddy!

They have a whole Sesame Street section. We went on Porter's first roller coaster there!

Yummy!

Somehow our one family picture.

He loves the turtles.

He loved that the fish would come right up to him!

This is the moment that made all the money we spent worth it. Porter was mesmerized by the Orca's and loved every minute of the show. This is right after he said :"WOW!" So cute!

We really had a great time! And the best part is we got free tickets to go again! Can't wait!

Guess what???

2011-09-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

We leave tomorrow for a little trip down to St George. To. Run. My. MARATHON!!!! AWWWWW. All the training I put in is going to pay off, and all the times I cheated are going to pay in. Yikes. I'm excited and scared. I hope my tummy doesn't give me any problems like it has in the past. I hope my heart doesn't burst. I hope my legs don't break. I hope I finish! Wish me luck!!! (I'm going to need it!)

Oceanside 2011

2011-09-12T13:52:00.001-07:00

Family Picture (Don't we look good with sun on our skin?!)

Family! My sis, me, my cousin Anna, Camille (soon to be cousin-in-law) Aaron

Pman's best friend Wesley came to play! Too bad Pman slept most of the time...

Bestest! These are some of our favorite friends. Becka and Brian, can't wait for you to move here!

If i looked hard enough I bet I could find a picture of us here like 15 years ago. i love you becka!

When we go to Oceanside (every year my entire life) we try to make sure we look like turists and do silly things. Like the surry. Don't worry we beat the other group pretty hard core.

Pretty much the only sighting at our 2 am low tide trip. Pretty sad.

It wouldn't be Oceanside without a bonfire and light parade.Let's just say we know how to party!

Porter's first light parade (he was sleeping during last years)

These two are best buds and always up to trouble. Look at the pure shock of Pmans face when I came around the corner. Too cute.

We had a girls night, minus Kristie plus Dad to see the movie The Help. It was so fun! We had treats and laughed and even danced. The best was the Chinese Fire Drill! Good times!

My boys!

Happy bday to Papa!

These two sure love each other. (for the 30 sec we took pictures)

Me and my twin. Everyone always tells us we look and sound the same. We also have the same sense of humor so they may be on to something...

Lots of time digging in the dirt! Porter loved the ocean and couldn't get enough. When his lips turned blue we had to pry him away!

Daddy was able to come the entire week! These two are the best of buds. It's a mans world.

I was able to see one of my best friends, Jessica! And her big event! The Queen Bee Market. Loved it!

Of course it wouldn't be a trip to CA without seeing Great grandpa Bill. Pman loved it as you can tell!

All in all Oceanside was a blast! It just gets better and better! I can't wait to go next year. And yes I am already counting down the days! Next post will be our trip to SEA WORLD!!! It was amazing!

Family pictures

2011-09-12T13:48:00.000-07:00

My amazingly talented sister Kristie took these family pictures while we were in Oceanside. Here are just a few and I couldn't love them more!

Porter's first cut

2011-09-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

Hair cut that is. And we only trimmed the bangs! Tricked ya! We are not Orthodox Jews so I felt ok with trimming his bangs. (in case your wondering we are not cutting this little mans hair until he turns three, as we are participating in upsherin) And just to clear it up we are LDS, not Jewish but I love learning and participating from other religions. He hated every second of it. Good thing it was only the bangs!!

Thirty, flirty and thriving

2011-09-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

Proof that Caleb did have a birthday. Sort of. A friend of ours delivered a big 'ol batch of balloons to Caleb's desk (he told me I wasn't allowed too) we surprised him with some doughnuts, cookies, presents and lunch. Caleb is not big into birthdays. I am. It took everything in me not to throw a huge surprise party. I had to remember it was his day, not mine and it helped that Porter was sick and most of our attention was on getting him better. Probably not the best 30th bday, but given the circumstances I'd say we did ok.

Why I love going home...

2011-08-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

Awesome Parks! This park was designed for special needs children so it has a ton of sensory and tactile and musical aspects. It is a remarkable park.

Porter giving Mama knuckles He was really loving on Papa

The girls minus Kristie! We are so excited we can barely wait!!! Marry Poppins!!!Love Love Loved it!The O.C. Fair...it isn't a fair without funnel cake(please note where Porter's little hand is!) My mom loves me the most so she bought me my own funnel cake! But then those little people wanted some so I shared.

Pageant of the Masters. Went with my sis Katie, met up with Brent and Kelly. Awesome seats. Awesome company. Awesome night!

We hit up some lemonade stands. These kids made a killing!

And an overly crowded show at the library. I love going home! It is always full of fun awesomeness. I really had a blast this time. So did Porter. He sure loves being around all his cousins and his Mama and Papa. Good times for sure!

The sparkle is back!

2011-08-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

(although this picture is months old!)

Porter is getting better! And we got some answers. He had rhino and adno viruses. He also had a little pink eye. The highest his fever got was 106. He was one sick boy. We spent a lot of time at the Dr's office, blood lab, ER, and pacing our living room trying to help bring his fever down. It was scary. When they didn't know what was wrong they were worried about a few really MAJOR things. My heart couldn't have handled them and I am so grateful we don't need to worry about that anymore.

My mom drove up to help. She said she felt silly, driving 10 hrs just to sit. Don't feel silly mom. You were more of a help than you know. Porter was so happy to see you, he had to do about 20 mins of tricks. I was so happy to see you. You stayed up with me from 3-5 that night. You slept on our couch, did the dishes, made us food, bought us food, came the Dr with me. I needed you. So thank you!

Porter still has a little runny nose and is having some struggles sleeping through the night. But he is so much better! He finally feels like playing and running. Its the saddest thing to watch your sick baby and not be able to help. I know a lot of prayers were said on his behalf. A lot of people called,( and I didn't call back) I appreciate all the kind words we received. I'm so happy to have those sparkly eyes back!

My sweet boy

2011-08-18T19:16:00.000-07:00

Is sick again. I just put him to bed with a fever of 101.9. And yesterday when I got home from work (yes it's that time of year again) he had a fever of 105 so we rushed to the doctors then were rushed to the lab for more blood work and then at 11:45 we went to the E.R. with a fever of 106. He had the works done. X-rays, a snot sucker, and lots of pocking and prodding. Porter mainly wanted his Daddy to hold him the entire time (maybe broke my heart). Then we went home around 2ish AM and struggled to keep our sweet boy's fever down. They still don't have any idea what is going on. It is probably viral. I am so grateful they haven't found anything in the test so far, but at the same time I was some answers and I want something done to help him. Its so hard. Being a parent is hard. Being a parent of a sick baby is really hard. My heart is on my sleeve and ripping at the seam every time his fever goes up. This is personal, if you have any questions about the LDS church please ask, or go to LDS.org Caleb gave him a blessing last night (one of hundreds lately) and I was so over come with the spirit. I feel like I am begging my Heavenly Father to keep Porter safe. I am so grateful for prayer. I believe it works. Last night Caleb said, " what do the babies in Africa do when they get a high fever?" my heart broke more. I know there are people out there whose babies are very ill, who wont get better, and those that have died. I know I have it really good. I am so grateful for that. But I'm ready to see my babies eyes sparkle again.

Dear Hubs,

2011-08-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

I am sorry. I am truly sorry. I didn't mean for it to be like that. But it wasn't my fault. I keep a clean house. I change the sheets once a week, vacuum all the carpets once a week (the living room at least 2xs) I dust and mop the floors. So when I was woken up at 3 am by that darling baby boy you gave me and I heard the squeak I freaked out. I almost threw up. I just imagined him sharing my air, and then crawling up my leg and eventually into my mouth. I couldn't handle it. So I got the flash light. And SAW it. Well it's tail. And I could have died. And then we found out it was trapped in the spider box. And then I was doubly disgusted. And you had to wake up and throw that live disgusting rodent out. And I had to sleep with the flashlight. But I promise it wasn't my fault. I have lived in a 3rd world country before. And unless you tell me we are moving to Taiwan tomorrow I won't pretend to be ok with rodents in my house. Did you know they carry diseases? And they could get to Pman. And I can't sleep with their beady little eyes waiting for me to drift into sleep to pounce on me. I just can't. So I'm sorry. I know you didn't get much sleep last night. And you had to go to work today. And I'm sorry in advance for making you help me re-arrange our bedroom tonight so I can vacuum and see if there are any holes in the wall. But you know what? I sure love you hubs!

Halla

2011-08-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

We are alive, and Porter is well (er). The doctors never really narrowed down what Porter had, they think Roselia, and then an ear and sinus infection. It was a hard week for our little man. Then we headed down to CA to party it up in Oceanside. I have so many pictures to post! Porter is doing so much better but he wakes up in the middle of the night (every night) screaming, like he is in pain, and does it multiple times during the night. Eventually he ends up in bed with us. We are all very tired. Anyone have any ideas on what is going on with Pman? Yikes.... Work starts back on Wednesday. That's the day after tomorrow. And well that's all I have to say about that. Tear. Drop. Drop. Drop...

Some birthday, be strong and say a prayer

2011-07-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

(We all joked that Porter was mainly upset that they put pink bandages on him)
I'll post more about Caleb's really awesome birthday later. Porter is sick. Very sick. Wednesday he had a fever. It is getting worse and worse. He went to the Dr yesterday and he thought it was viral and to watch Porter. Well last night it reached 106. So instead of an awesome party we ended up going to Urgent Care, then the hospital for blood work. It was a looooooooooooong night to say the least. A certain protein in Porter's blood is moderately elevated but not high enough to start medicine. I just recently read a blog link of a friend of mine who had lost their baby suddenly. I read that blog and bawled my eyes out. And then I though I could never, not ever recover from losing my baby. Last night was scary. I thought: "ok, Heavenly Father won't let anything happen to him." and then I thought: "Heavenly Father is not a respecter of persons and if it happened to that family it could happen to me". And my last thought and plead was "Please let me die and save him." Caleb held Porter while they took his little blood and he cried and cried. I turned away and cried and cried. I know a ton of prayers have been said on Porters behalf. Maybe a few more wouldn't hurt? Caleb had to go to CA on business this morning and it has been a long day and is looking like a long night. Porter was doing great until about an hour ago when his fever started creeping back up. Hopefully the ib profen will keep it down. I'm scared. I'm pretending to be strong because it wont help if I fall apart while Caleb is gone. So please say a prayer for our little man.

Porter,
It's mom. Do you know I love it when you call me "mom"?. It cracks me up. I love you. I'm sorry you are in pain. I'm sorry its a waiting game. I'm sorry you don't want food or drinks and I keep shoving them in your face. I can't lose you. I love you. The first time I thought I could lose you I hadn't even met you yet. You were in my belly and I had the swine flu. You fought that off. Fight this off. Don't let the scary facts of high fevers happen to you. I'll trade you places in less than a heartbeat if I could. I promise. If you get better I will buy you yet another ball. And I will let you tear off all the toilet paper with out saying a word because I know it makes you so happy and proud. Get better ok? Ok.
I love you,
Mom

30 favorites for your 30th

2011-07-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

Today is the hubs' 30th birthday!!!! I've been taunting him for about a year (or two) about this birthday. We are no longer in the same age bracket. When we race we will have to check two different age categories. 30 is old. But not on you. Hubs, I know your not as into birthdays as I am but I have impulse issues, I tried to control most of them. I hope you like today. I hope you are happy. I hope you like your surprises. I hope you know how happy I am that you were born. Here are 30 of my favorite things about you for your big 3-0 birthday:
1) Your eyes
2) Your personality
3) Your iliac crest
4) Your brain, it has lots of power
5) The type of daddy you are
6) Your huge calf muscles (seriously they are huge)
7) The way you get nervous/excited before playing sports
8) Your natural athleticism, you could have gone pro babe
9) The fact that you are a good person, you genially want to be good and make people happy, the fact that you worry and feel bad if someone gets hurt
10) Your charming ways (Sometimes I have to worry about all those ladies you work with)
11) How good you look in a hat
12) The fact that you are not a good swimmer, but took a swim class at BYU to keep up with me
12) You jumped in the water (you know what I'm talking about)
13) You are the ultimate handy man
14) Your two little moles on the back of your neck
15) Your laugh (I hope to hear a lot of that today)
16) That you have never said a swear word in your life
17) You wear my handmade stuff with pride
18) The way you love to work
19) Your aspirations in life
20) You grew a beard for three months on a dare
21) When there is a ball in the room you find it and play with it (Porter has picked up on this and he is such a mini you when he does it!)
22) You would rather be outside than watch tv
23) Despite your start of college, you finished with amazing grades, in amazing time, with work and internships
24) When you speak Chinese
25) When we lived in Taiwan you would always go to my favorite food places, even if that meant we had to go to the same place 6 days a week
26) Your love of travel
27) Your thought process (that sounds totally cheesy but you are always thinking of these random things "do you ever wonder about this particular tendon and how it just ends?" I love to hear what you are thinking. Most of the time I haven't ever considered the thought!
28) Your competitive side (people probably will never know how competitive you really are)
29) Your lips (oh yeah I went there)
30) YOU! You are amazing. I love you! I'm so happy you were born.
Happy birthday HUBS!!!! We love you!

Note to self:

2011-07-26T11:32:00.000-07:00

Do not watch "Surprise Homecoming" on TLC while running on the treadmill at the gym. You are not the prettiest sweater and certainly not the prettiest crier, put those to together and you can scare people. That and people think you are weird for crying and then laughing while you are running at an incline and a speed of 7.4.

Name them one by one...

2011-07-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

I'm partying it up in California and having a blast and I realized I have so many things to be grateful for. So I thought of them. And then thought of more. And more! So here's a short version of my list:
~Porter
~Hubs
~Family
~Health
~Modern Medicine
~A good heart
~Legs and knees that can handle running
~Running
~Our cars
~Our jobs
~Food
~Sunshine
~Nieces and nephews
~Cousins for Porter to play with
~A healthy baby
~Frozen yogurt
~Family
~This land
~Porter's hugs and kisses and face cuddles
~Vitamin D from the source
~Friends
~Lemonade stands
~An amazing house right near my mom and one of my sisters and across from the oldest country club west of the Mississippi THAT I JUST BOUGHT!!!! Haven't told the hubs yet but I'm pretty sure he will love this surprise!

Best 4th Yet!

2011-07-13T13:05:00.001-07:00

As you can tell from the pictures our 4th of July weekend was jam packed with FUN! We started out Saturday morning by going to the balloon festival just down the street.

Then we played all day and then went to the boys club (hubs job) work dinner. It was JDogs at the Miller Field. Wonder why? Because the boys club(Qualtrics) BOUGHT the Stadium of Fire. Yup. Floor seats. And the hubs was able to get tickets so my sister and her hubs and our friends the Price's could come! We had a blast. I was bummed when I found out who the performers were, David Archuleta and Brad Pasely. But guess what? You would have never know that I only knew two songs from each artist. I cheered my heart out. Who wouldn't? You have floor seats at a huge venue and your going to sit on your tush? Nope. Not me. My poor hubs was getting all sorts of laughs from his co-boys clubians about his crazy wife. See his hand on my leg? You probably think that's so sweet? It's not. He was holding me down so I couldn't jump up and down and scream. Luckily my sis and Crystal were good sports and danced and cheered and ran down the aisles with me! Brad Pasely was pretty much awesome. Caleb and I both became fans. The whole thing was amazing! The fireworks were so close I could feel it in my chest. It totally gave me goose bumps. Nothing like getting together to celebrate this amazing land we have! I know freedom isn't free and I'm so grateful for those who serve our Country (past, present and future). There was a dance party in the streets after and you better believe I danced my pants off (not really, I kept them on) on our walk home the hubs and I got a delish snow cone.

Sunday was Sunday. Then Monday we woke up super early and ran in the Provo Freedom Race 5k. I came in 20th in my age group. I could have done better but I thought people would line up in the right spot. They didn't and I spent the first 1.5 miles trying to get around people. Rude. After the race we went home and met up with Aaron, Quinn and Lyla and headed to the Parade. We had awesome seats. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Provo is the place to be. After the parade we went home and made crepes and then went to the freedom festival downtown. Later we went to a BBQ with friends and then lit up the sky with fireworks. Porter loved it!

I didn't forget Mom...

2011-07-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

i just forgot to call right away. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I'm so glad you were born! I'm so glad your my mom, and Porter's Mama. You are the best. You're my best friend. You were always my roller coaster rider, hiker, shopping, x-files watching partner. And I'll never forget that. I know I gave you some grief, and I'm sorry. But I think it made you like me even more :) I love you mom. I really truly believe that you are the best mom in the WORLD! And the best grandma! Just ask Porter. We love you. Hope you have a happy(er) day. I can't wait to party it up with you on Saturday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

15 months

2011-07-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

Hey World,
It's me Porter. I'm 15 months old and have a lot to show for it. My favorite toy in the world is a car. I drive it on everything. If I see a car I say "vroom" until I get it and then I say it as I'm driving the car around. I love to play ball. I love to swim. I now say "Hi, vroom, ball, dog, uh-oh, mom, dada, no, yea, mmum, ouch (and a few more but my mom can't remember!). I sign "water, milk, food, dog, ball and we are working on please". I love pizza. And bread. I do not like strawberry's. My 'rents can't believe it but I just don't like them. I love to go on walks and be outside. If my mom is weeding I will help her by sitting in the dirt and putting it all over my body. She thinks this is so funny. I like to do things on my own. I love to blow kisses to people. I give high fives sometimes but I prefer to pound it (hit knuckles). I'm still one happy baby and still haven't cut my hair. You didn't think we would last this long did ya? Well I'll let you know when it happens. (I'll give you a hint: my 3rd birthday). I am 32.3 inches tall (90%) I weigh 24.1 lbs (50%) and my head is 49 cm(90%). I'm a tall skinny baby. My mom says she wishes she could freeze time and keep me at this stage for awhile. But I can't stop growing and changing. Life is great!
Love,
Porter

CA Loven

2011-07-11T13:47:00.001-07:00

My mom, aunt, grandma, and cousin drove up from CA for a play date. And we played hard. We went to SLC, ate at the Garden (get the grilled cheese it's "award" winning ;)) went to Hatch Family Chocolate Shop, went to Park City, rode the Zip line (and loved it) went on the Alpine slide (and rode the brakes the entire way). I had a BLAST! It was so fun to see family and to play. Porter loved having extra attention. I was glad I was able to see my grandma out and about after Pa died. It was not an easy trip for them. Ma passed out a few times (once in our arms in the JSM Parking lot). This was when I realized that genes are not on my side. I will not grow old like my grandparents have. The trip was shorter and less active then we orginally planned but I loved it. Thanks for coming!

Are the Commandments literal?

2011-07-09T09:47:00.001-07:00

Like "Love your neighbor". Do I actually have to love them? Because right now I don't. Maybe I even hate them....

PAUSE....

2011-07-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

I need time to stop. Literally. I feel like I am losing this summer too fast. It's already July? But it can't be...that means that August is next month...that means work starts back up. And let's face it. I have no desire to leave this little buddy of mine. Staying home has rocked my world. And his (I would like to think) I love splashing in the pool and running and eating sweets and reading stories and being with him. All. Day. Long. So please please slow down time. Let this month and the first few weeks of the next take maybe five months. Ok? Ok! Because I really can't think of leaving him. Again.

Happy Birthday...

2011-07-04T14:53:00.001-07:00

AMERICA! You really are great. I am so grateful for all the men and women and their families that have fought for our freedom and for those that continue to do so! I'm pretty sure if I were born in another country I would be dead by now. I love this land. I appreciate my freedoms that come with it and appreciate my responsibilities as an American. I know people are great at finding things to complain about when it comes to this COUNTRY but I love it. And if you don't like it (or aren't here legally) I say get out!

We started the day of with a fun 5k and then a brunch of delish crepes (so American) with the sister and her fam and then a mile run to the freedom festival and a mile run home, looking forward to our bbq and fireworks! Not to mention we had floor seats at the STADIUM OF FIRE (more posts to come). Needless to say we have had an amazing 4th of July weekend!

I got a little blog crazy...

2011-06-30T09:32:00.003-07:00

and posted four blogs at once so be sure to check 'em out...

Cousin's (from the Wilkins side for once)

2011-06-30T09:19:00.000-07:00

Caleb's family is spread all over so we never get to see them. His sisters that are twins came to Utah for a friend's wedding and stayed with us a few nights. I'm not going to lie...I was not sure of how it would turn out. But we had a good time. Shane (the older one, whose mommy has the shorter hair) had no idea who we were and didn't really warm up to us too much but he was sure cute to watch! Isaiah (the younger one whose mommy has the longer hair) also had his world rocked whenever his mom left his sight, but we had fun with him to. Porter had no idea why they kept crying and would look at them, pat them or laugh. It was fun to get to know these girls too. I haven't seen Laura in years and had only met Leah maybe twice before. It was great for Porter to meet some of his Wilkins side of the family. This was the first time either one of these aunties had seen Porter too!

Fourth Half Marathon-Provo City May 7, 2011

2011-06-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

This was my fourth half-marathon and if I were a quitter it would be my last. I woke up Saturday morning not feeling well at all. So, I took some meds. I found some pills in the cupboard and an old nasal drip so I sniffed that. Probably the worst thing to do before a race. Oh that and not train. I also did NOT train for this as well. (This race was three weeks after the SLC 1/2 that I trained for 3xs and finished in 1:55 or something) My sister Katie also ran it with me. She kicked my trash. And if you know how competitive I am, you know this was a bruise to my running soul, but I am happy and proud of her. Anyway I ran the first mile in 7.45 and continued that pace for the first 3 miles. I felt good. I felt fast. Then I felt sick. Like throw-up sick. And thirsty. And suddenly very sleepy. Note to self: don't self medicate before a race ever again. And that's pretty much the end. The other 10 miles all I could think about was drinking anything and finishing this stupid race. Katie caught up to me and I said good luck and never saw her again. I walked and walked and walked. It was like I was a pioneer. I walked more than a mile. And I drank 3-4 cups of whatever I could get my hands on at every aid station.I hated pretty much every minute of this race. I even yelled at the people standing near the finishing line that were not cheering. They sucked. The only cool thing were our bibs. Mine was 714 and Katie's was 909, both of which were our old area codes. But 2 hours and ten minutes later I finished. When I finished I cried. Only because I was mad. I wanted to shove that race in its race face. But Caleb told me to learn from it and grow. So I did. I got a trainer. That's right. I have a running coach. And I am loving it. My running has improved so much and I'm pretty sure I am going to ROCK St. George FULL marathon in October!

Four Years- Four Pounds (of Chocolate)

2011-06-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

This was our first wedding anniversary where we both had to work. We wanted to go somewhere fun but neither of our work schedules permitted so we went on a date to the Melting Pot in SLC. We pretty much go there every year and it never gets old. We totally didn't go get dinner before hand either so we don't feel bad about eating all that chocolate :) Just kidding we went to Noodles and Co. I had to negotiate with Caleb about how to get him to give me his cheesecake because he doesn't even care for it. All it took were two marshmallows. It would have been three but somehow I ate one during the negotiation. We had a blast talking and giggling (mainly me). It has been a VERY long time since we went on a one-on-one date and I think we need to do it more often. We're obviously concerned about getting our moneys worth and worth hunger, so we cleaned the bowl. Don't judge, you would have too!

Summer Loven'

2011-06-30T08:54:00.000-07:00

I have been off of work for one month tomorrow! And man has it been amazing! Porter and I love having ALL day EVERY day to play play play! Usually we go out and do my training runs and then go to mommy and me swim lessons and then play like there's no tomorrow. So far we have gone to the Living Planet Aquarium and the Zoo (with my sister Katie who gets us in for free, totally gets awesome sister points for that) we go to the water park and long walks with friends. I have really loved every day of this summer so far. I have only had 3 nightmares about work (and I love my job so now you know how stressful it is). I have also been able to RELAX. Man was I a stress case. I have started lots of crafts and read lots of books and enjoyed this time. I get so intense when I work that it is work, play with Porter, run, eat, sleep. I am cleaning this house like its spring for the first time in a LONG time. I feel pretty spoiled getting to have Porter all to myself. We are loving summer!

HEY

2011-06-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say "Happy Father's Day". I love you Babe. Porter is so lucky to have a dad like you. Watching you with him is inspiring. You are a remarkable Dad. It almost makes me wish I was more of a breader. More kids deserve to have a Dad like you. You are his best friend. Thanks for being an amazing DAD!

Happy Father's Day to all those Daddy's in the world. Especially MINE! Happy Dad's Day!

P.S. Please don't mind Porter's nasty grease hair. We spent ALL day at the Zoo and the pool and he wouldn't keep a hat on so I slathered his head with sunscreen. Should have taken the picture first :)

This here is an S.O.S.

2011-06-17T13:54:00.000-07:00

1) Switching to the sippy
I've made the switch from bottle to sippy cups. It has not gone well. Porter wont drink. Is this normal? How do YOU do it? Help please....

2) Losing weight
I feel like I'm stuck. I lose 2 lbs and then gain 1 and go back and forth and back and forth. I have increased my workouts. I'm working on decreasing my intake but I'm just not seeing progress. How do YOU do it? Count calories, diets that work, alli???

3) That's all my S.O.S. I just need help figuring out this whole sippy cup thang and any insight, tricks, known weight buster help. Thanks ya'll. Have a happy Friday!

You know it's time to clean your room when...

2011-06-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

Your 14th month old walks in and says "oh-uh". Yep. Thanks for the motivation Porter. Porter has been so fun lately. It's my first week of summer break and we are loving it! I may not have worn makeup for 48 hours, or done my hair! We go for runs and walks and play play play! We went to a mommy and me gymnastic class, the water park, the library and hopefully the aquairum again soon and mommmy and me swim lessons start next week. This little man is my favorite buddy. He loves to dance and play. He says: "oh-uh", "ma-ma", "da-da", "no", "ya", "dog","ball", "hiiii", "mo" (for more), "mmmm" (when something tastes good)and "vroom" (when driving a car) and signs: more, all done, dog, water, milk, food. He blows kisses, gives kisses, graces your mouth with his forehead for a kiss, and waves. About a week ago he started waving bye to us when we put him down for bed or naps. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever. He just waves and blows us kisses and then falls asleep. I love babywise. He is curious about everything. He is still very much a daddy's boy but is very protective over his mommy. This week I had a Dr's apt and needed Caleb there to hold my hand ( I had two moles and a toe nail removed, you would want someone there too) and couldn't get a babysitter so we brought Porter. When the nurse put the pressure cup on my arm Porter started yelling and waving his arm. Then when Caleb was checking my back, Porter started yelling and ran over to rescue me. So cute. Needless to say I love this kid. This stage is probably my favorite right now. He is cuddly and interested in everything.

17 weeks

2011-06-07T08:48:00.001-07:00

I wasn't going to tell people. Probably because I'm nervous, probably because I'm scared. Maybe it's because I didn't think it would happen so soon. There are so many reasons. But it's real. It IS happening. There's no turning back now. I shouldn't be too scared...it's not like it's my first. I have done this before. I survived (barely). But maybe that's why I am so nervous. Because I HAVE been there...I know what its like. I know how HARD it is. I know it HURTS. But the reward at the end is so sweet and obviously worth all the work. This time I am going to be much more prepared. I am going to learn from my past mistakes. I am going to rock this! Right? I can do the pep talk in my head but that little voice of doubt comes in and makes me scared. Terrified. But excited. How can one person have so many conflicting emotions going on at one time? YIKES! Wish me luck...

Oh, I hope you didn't think I was pregnant! Of course I'm talking about the Saint George MARATHON I got into and am RUNNING OCTOBER 1, 2011.

Four Years

2011-06-01T15:58:00.001-07:00

That's right. It's been four years since this guy and I got hitched! It's been one amazing ride. I love you hubs. A few things to recap over the past few years:
* Three Countries
* One degree
* 10 jobs
* 5 apartments/homes
* Four wards
* One pregnancy
* One awesome kid
I have had a blast these past four years. Hubs, your perfect for me, what other husband would wear matching tye die or bow tows?!? Of course I love for more than what you wear. I love you. What do you say we go for four more?

What the heck?

2011-05-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

Why did blogger post my Easter post AFTER the last post I did? I cannot figure it out...or how to change it. So if you want to see our amazing Easter and our MATCHING BOW TIES (oh yes I did) then scroll down past my feeding blog. And if anyone knows how to fix this, I would appreciate the help!

Porter Pictures

2011-05-20T13:33:00.001-07:00

In case you couldn't tell I am totally obsessed with my kid. He has great hair and we are still not cutting it until he is three. Seriously. He loves to cook with Dad and is my favorite dress up partner for Sunday's. This kid totally rocks our world.

Cause I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

2011-05-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

I had to take a picture of this stuff. And there was more but I packed it before I thought to take a picture. Here you see my BREAST FEEDING stuff. And now it's gone! I am DONE nursing Porter (and was April 4,2011) and couldn't be happier! Breast feeding was one of the most challenging things I have done. Physically, Porter had trouble latching. Three visits to the lactation consultant and lots and lots of tears and pain, purple paste on my nipples due to the oh so horrible mastitis I got when Porter was under a week old. Oh man did we have it rough. I almost quit. Almost. And then my mom said "you're not the quiting type". But it was hard. And then three weeks after Porter was born my katiebug suggested I try a nipple gaurd. And things got better...not easier. I still have scars on my nipples. Yes, scars. And I had to pump at work(so not fun, and I worked full-time until the end of December) When Porter started sleeping through the night at 1 week, I still got up to pump so he would have milk when I went back to work. Porter had formula maybe three times when he was jaundice. Now I am not a hippie. I did not love nursing Porter. Sometimes I hated it. But I did it. I'm grateful things worked out, I'm grateful Katiebug told me about the gaurd, I'm grateful I had that time with Porter (most of the time), I'm grateful I fought for my milk supply so I didn't lose it at work, but mainly I'm grateful it's over!!!!!

Let's put the FUN back in...

2011-05-20T13:16:00.001-07:00

funeral. Pa's funeral was absolutely beautiful. I learned so much more about this amazing man and felt so uplifted by the life he lead and the legacy he left us. My dad spoke and gave the most amazing talk. Two other people that were close to Pa gave talks and I gave the opening prayer. It was really a beautiful service. After the ward had a lunch for the family...I have no interest in eating after a funeral. Thinking of it makes me feel sick to my stomach and I just don't get it. But Porter does not share my opinions on this matter. He ate more funeral potatoes than I knew possible. My sister Kristie isn't in the picture because she was talking to some relative...not a sister. Some people thought it was weird to take pictures. I sure didn't! Little Lila was so tired and just had to cuddle her mama and take a nap!

Easter

2011-05-20T13:05:00.001-07:00

We were able to go to California for Easter this year! (Pa's funeral was the day after so everyone was home!) This was our first real Easter with Porter, last year we were in the hospital with a brand new baby Porter. My sister Kelly and Kristie really stepped up this year. As you can imagine my mom had enough on her plate planning her Dad's funeral and taking care of family things, so it was really nice to see all the effort they put into Easter. All I have to say is MOVE OVER Martha Stewart. This Easter was awesome. The boys had cameo baskets and the hunt was incredible. Don't mind the fact that I was getting Pman all the money eggs. The dinner was even better and I was lucky to get a taste of the fresh made lemonade. This year I wanted Porter and the hubs to match for Easter, but I didn't want to be left out. So I found a cute tutorial for bow-ties, asked the hubs if he would pretty please wear one (he didn't even hesitate....it was like "baby, I'll do anything for you" but without those words) and made all of us bow ties. I love them. And the hubs for going along. We had a blast this Easter. (how is it that I don't have a picture with my sisters????)

Cutest Kid...

2011-05-20T13:04:00.000-07:00

Ever. 'nough said!

Back-back to Cali (part one)

2011-05-20T12:51:00.000-07:00

When I found out my Pa (grandpa) wasn't doing very well it happened to fall on my Spring Break at work. Pa had told me a few months ago that he wanted to see me and Porter again before he died. I promised him he would. We found out Saturday that Pa wasn't doing well and Sunday we bought out tickets. This was one of the best trips I have had in California. I didn't get to see my sisters hardly at all, my dad or any of my friends, we didn't go shopping or playing. I saw my Pa. I told him I loved him and always felt so close to him. I told him I knew the Gospel was true. I told him he didn't need to be afraid. I was able to see him look at Porter with so much love it breaks my heart now that I didn't cherish that a bit more. I watched him make some very hard choices and I watched him slip farther and farther away. These pictures of Porter and me and Pa are the last I have of him. I will always hold them dear to me. I am so grateful that my mom and dad didn't mind Pman and I spoiling their week and having two more people to worry about. I am so glad I was able to see my Pa and hug and kiss him. It's amazing how much I miss him and how so many things pop up that make me think of him.

12 months

2011-05-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

Pretend it's April 3rd

Hey World!
It's me Porter. Well this is my last "month" picture. I can't believe I'm double digits. One year has been really awesome. I had a sweet party on April 2nd and had a great birthday day at home on the 3rd. I have lots of new and improved skills. I still clap and play peek-a-boo. I am standing a ton and have taken a few very careful steps. I can shake it like a rock-star, especially on my change table. I love to crawl with a car in each hand. I say "dada, mama, Hi, yeah, uh-oh, wazat (what's that), shake my head yes and no sign "all done". I am 30 and 7/8 inches tall, I weigh 20 lbs 10 oz my head is 48.4 cm. I love to play and read books. I love to be chased around the house and go outside (when it's warm). My hair is really curly and it's the talk amongst the ladies. So needless to say the 'rents still are keep with the Jewish tradition and not cutting it until I'm three. That's only two more years! I love kids but I'm kinda hands on and some babies shy away from that. I love my daddy and mommy and love being the center of their world right now! One is great! I'm excited for life as a big (er) kid! Thanks for checking in!

Love,
Porter

Porter Party Part 2

2011-05-06T13:07:00.001-07:00

Porter had a great FIRST birthday! He loved his cake...eventually. He loved all his presents! And he loved everyone! Naturally we had a pinata (because we know how to party), un-naturally it was a steel enforced pinata and took forever. (next time I'll put candy in there, just toys this time). We had a blast and are so excited for our new adventures with a ONE year old!

GET A GRIP!

2011-05-06T12:50:00.000-07:00

I have had a good time laughing at some things going on in the blogging world! Geeze louise some people need to calm it down. Now lets clear up some of my personal blog rules and guidliness. I blog about my life. That includes, my hubs awesome beard (see post below), my cuttest baby in the world, races I'm running (like the Provo half marathon tomorrow), work (because I DO work), dates, sad things, happy things and silly things. Like this post.

Ok. Is this thing working? Is the volume turned up? Checking, checking 1,2,3. Oh good. Ok now some people on know their "friends" by blogging. I'm guilty of that for a few people. Just so ya know, I like to have fun. I like to ruffle the stiff air (especially here in Provo) and I am not afraid to speak my mind. Sometimes I make fun of a situation that happened to me. Sometimes I tell people I have had it with nasty comments (ie about working moms). Sometimes I say I can do more than cook, clean and make a fetus. (which by the way, I made I really cute one!)And sometimes people don't know how to take a joke.

So here's how: laugh. I know, I'm a really good teacher. So don't get your feathers in a ruffle over anything on my blog. I have a really good sense of humor and can't help my witty writing. (aka that was a joke). SO I do hope my real friends keep up with me through blogging (I PROMISE to post more really fun pictures) and I hope those that read my thoughts/feelings/insights on life and go post nasty comments, get upset (because there is really nothing to get upset about-unless your jealous of my amazing shopping buys) or want to start a post war: GET a GRIP!

This blog is for fun. And really for me. I understand that when I post outside of pictures and butterflies, some people aren't going to like it but when intent to hurt is NOT there, I think we should stop being self-centered and know that it's not about YOU (on my blog, smiley face) Ya know what I mean?

What's that hair on your face?

2011-05-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

The hubs decided to do a challenge at the BOYS CLUB (aka work) where he wouldn't shave until he met his goal for the quarter. A quarter is 3 months long and his goal was absurd. So here it is! The BEARD! Three months of no shaving and my hairy man had quite the beard. If you know Caleb, you know that he hates to have facial hair. I hate it when he shaves everyday. We had fun with this and really had fun laughing at peoples rude comments. But alas the beard had to go. It took Porter awhile to adjust back to the non-mountain man Daddy and I enjoyed kissing his lips without moving his hair out of the way. His boss loved it and we had a good time with it. I'm glad to see your skin again babe!

Just a mom- I'll probably get slapped for this...

2011-04-30T08:38:00.000-07:00

But I can take a hit so here it goes. It may be that I have had a crazy month, it may be that I'm tired,no exhausted. But it's probably because I'm sick and tired of snide remarks. And I enjoy an honest blog.

I work. Three days a week. 21 hours a week, not including lunch and commute. So really I get paid for 21 hours of work a week. And then I pay my babysitter. I don't work for fun. I don't work for entertainment. I work for my family. When Caleb started his new job he didn't get insurance for 90 days. So I went back to work FULL time. Because I was raised by hard-working republican parents who installed a good work ethic in me. And because I understand that when you get "state" aid it is coming straight from the hard working AMERICAN citizens. So I sucked it up and went to work. Now, I am fortunate enough to have an amazing job that allowed me to go part time.

Because why do I have to chose? Why do I have to pick from being a mom or being a career woman? Men don't have to choose. Why can't I have a little bit of both. Well, I am blessed. And I do. And I thank God everyday in my prayers for this blessing.

It doesn't make it a hobby though. It is NOT an escape from the occasional monotony of being a stay at home mom. It is work. And it is hard. So please do not come up to me and say:"oh how nice for you" or "wow, that's great you get a little 'me' time". Because I am so sick of it. And because it simply is not true. And since I'm already on a roll, don't tell me how busy you are. Because you are have WAY more time that a full time working gal, WAY WAY more time than a full-time working mama, and WAY more time than a part-time working mom, like me.

So when people say "JUST" a mom. It's because it's true. You are J-U-S-T a mom. And I think that is wonderful. You can dedicate all your time and energy to your family. It is hard I'm sure. But beautiful. And some days I envy that so much I could turn green. But then I look at my life, and my family, and the choices we are making and I am PROUD. And excited. So don't take that away from me. And don't let anyone take it away from you.

'Till we meet again Kenneth "Pa"

2011-04-21T16:41:00.000-07:00

Last night my Pa passed away in his sleep. He has not been doing well for awhile now and I was fortunate enough to be able to see him last week. I love my Pa. We have a very special bond and in his biography he wrote "I have always felt we have had a very special relationship. It's like we share a secret." I knew this day was coming. I was able to say goodbye. And yet my heart feels broken. I will miss you Pa. I hope you will be watching over me and Porter. I will miss the Kenneth to my Porter Kenneth. I look forward to when we will be together again and share more secrets.

Party -Part One

2011-04-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

These are some of my favorite pictures from Porter's birthday party. He was so cute and fun. Don't worry all you party peeps your pictures are coming next!

Tomorrow...Your only a day away

2011-04-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

I land at 11:52 pm tonight. We will drive to my sisters to sleep. Wake up at 5, take my pre-race shower. Eat something. Probably a piece of bread. Say a massive prayer. Drive to SLC and run 13.1 miles. Or crawl. It's been an exhausting week. A good one. But I'm bone tired and my emotions are on over drive. Somehow, someway I am going to have to pull it together and run my little heart out. Only I hope heart doesn't give out. Wish me luck....

Oh Joy the Birthday BOY!

2011-04-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

Sunday April 3rd Porter turned ONE! He is a big boy now. We had his party on Saturday and were so grateful for the beautiful weather. It snowed on Sunday, just like it did the day he was born. I am so excited for my ONE year old. I'm also so excited that nursing is over and my body is fully mine now! If my nursing bra wasn't so amazing I would burn it as a sign of liberation. I have so many adorable pictures to post. Just not now. I hope to get to them today... but it might not happen. Porter and I are flying to LAX tonight (late) to go see my Grandpa who isn't doing well. It will be a bittersweet trip but it's my spring break so really the best time for me to go. Don't worry I will be back Friday (midnight) in time to run my half marathon on Sat! Oh dear...

A joke is a joke...and this one was on you.

2011-04-06T22:04:00.000-07:00

We did not actually buy that "house" under ground. It was an April's Fools joke. I love holiday's. All of them. Especially this one. I thought you would know I would NEVER buy that. I thought you would know I have little desire to buy a house in UTAH. I thought you would know that I would talk to you before we considered buying a house. The "you" in here is mainly my mom. BUT lets not forget all of you that called, emailed, texted me about my new house. I had a lot of fun that day. I would call it a successful April Fools day.

We did it!!!

2011-04-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

People having being asking us why we don't buy a house if we are going to be staying here for awhile. And we started thinking about how much money we would save and how fun it would be to have a real place of our own. So we started looking, and working with a realtor, and when we had enough to make an offer we did. I was terrified. BUT we got it!!! It has been a trying and brain racking time for sure. I never knew buying a house could be so complicated. But I am so proud of us and our new little home! We can't wait to fix it up! Who wants to come visit????

Remember, Remember

2011-03-28T13:05:00.001-07:00

Porter will be ONE on Sunday. There are some things I want to REMEMBER:

*All of my pregnancy tests came out negative. I was so disappointed. I have to have blood work done to know. Remember that for the next time.
*Pregnancy is HARD-I threw up a LOT, I passed out at work, I threw up a LOT, I got SWINE FLU, I was in the hospital, I threw up a LOT and then had a beautiful baby boy
*The first time we heard your heartbeat was like music to my ears. We both cried.
*The first time I felt you move was during a Harry Potter movie at the dollar theater. I thought my heart would burst.
*You never liked for me to lye on my side. You would push until I moved
*I thought that if I tapped my belly to the beat of a song you would come out with rhythm. Porter's got some serious moves. Must have worked.
*I was terrified of giving birth. I should have been terrified of the recovery.
*The moment the nurse told me you weren't doing so well during the 2nd non-stress test my heart stopped
*Every time the nurses came in and checked on us and then left to call the doctor my heart stopped.
*When they told me they would have to use a vacuum to get you out (after over 2 HOURS of actively pushing) I was terrified. When they told me Porter would be out in ten minutes I was thrilled.
*The Dr. told me to look at you as you came out. I did. It was so strange.
*The second I knew you were ok my heart leaped. Then I felt like super-woman
*The first time I held you in my arms I knew I would do whatever it took to take care of you.
*Breastfeeding is HARD.
*The first time you fussed (at around 3 weeks) I called my mom and asked her what to do and to please come back.
*The first time you smiled I knew I would do whatever it took to see that for the rest of my life
*Recovery is hard. At least for me.
*The first time you roller over I cried. I was at work. And missed it.
*The first time you sat up I cried. I was there and so proud.
*The first time you crawled it was to get my hair. We screamed and laughed and maybe cried.
*The first time you clapped I was so proud.
*Leaving you to go to work with someone other than family is HARD. Every time.
*Every time you meet a developmental milestone my heart is full of gratitude (remember I work with kids that are way behind)
*The first time you got sick I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. The fact that it was my fault made me feel sick to my stomach. I am STILL so sorry.
*The fact that you love bath time and water makes me so proud.
*The way you laugh and giggle is honestly the cutest thing in the world.
*We can hardly carry on a conversation that doesn't revolve around you and how cute you are. And we like that.
*I thank Heavenly Father everyday for you.
*You love to play with balls. Daddy is so proud.
*I never thought having a boy could be this fun. I hope I have another one next.
*You are so cuddly. I taught you how to kiss and hug and every single one of those is to die for.
*This has been a hard year.
*This has been a trying year.
*This has been a growing year.
*This has been the most miraculous year of my life.
*I can't believe you will be ONE. I can't believe that I get to be your Mommy. I love you Porter.

I've lost the manual...

2011-03-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

The baby manual, the Porter manual. You know the one that descends from the Heavens the moment your baby is placed in your arms and tells you everything you need to do and how to do it. Wait. You didn't get one? Oh no! How sad. Well I did...but it seems to be lost, probably from the move. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I need some help. Porter will be ONE on April 3rd. I will be DONE nursing him. Not sure how to ween him. He takes a bottle like a champ, and has been since I went back to work when he was 6 weeks old. But how do I DO it? I have been reading and reading and I am just not sure. It says to drop a feeding a day and then a few days later drop another, so do I just give him my stored milk? What if I don't have enough? And I have been reading how you should go straight to a CUP? Porter can drink water out of a cup when we hold it, he can hold it but he spills more than he drinks. So how does THAT work? I have had enough problems with breastfeeding and I really don't want to experience PAIN so I NEED YOUR HELP. Calling all moms!!! How do I do this thing???? Hopefully Porter's manual will turn up but until then I'm counting on you!

Happy St. Patty's Day

2011-03-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling really un-lucky lately. I had strep, Porter had pink eye, then Caleb had strep and guess what??? I have an ear infection. So we can use a little luck around here. Some things I am lucky to have: a hubs, who will give up going to the gym with his friend to sit by me and hold me while I cry (ear infections REALLY really hurt), his job, he loves it and is good at it, my job, our baby, Porter is the best thing I have ever made, I am so crazy about him, our home, our friends, our family, our ward, our health (when it's better), our future. It's going to be a good St. Patrick's day here. Hope it is for you too. I'm thinking mint shakes tonight...anyone interested???

P.S. As you know I am home sick with an ear infection. I haven't had energy to do anything but lay around. Luckily I can lay around with my computer so go ahead and check out my last 10 new posts :)

Rex Lee on a more personal note

2011-03-17T13:40:00.001-07:00

A good friend of ours and a one-time babysitter of Porter's was recently diagnosed with Leukimia. He is 27 years old. His wife is pregnant. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like. And I wont pretend to. Caleb and I felt terrible but you can only say "I'm so sorry" so many times. So we decided to DO something. We ran the Rex Lee Race in support of Ian. We invited our Ward to do it with us and Friday night we had a T-shirt making party and wore them to the race on Saturday. Caleb was sick so he walked the 5k with Porter and I ran the 10k. I finished in 53 mins 29 seconds. It was really fun. I love/hate doing Cancer races. My paternal grandmother died of Ovarian Cancer when i was 12. My maternal grandmother is a breast cancer survivor as is my aunt. I hate cancer. I cannot wait until we have a cancer free future. It really was a nice race. The shirts say "Team Bergeson" and on the back it says "We've got your back Ian". I am so excited for a day when cancer is not a part of our world.

11 months

2011-03-17T13:30:00.001-07:00

Hey world,
It's me, Porter. One more month till I'm the big One. I am growing like a weed. My hair is growing even more than that. My 'rents and I decided not to cut it until I'm three. It's the Jewish tradition Upfsherin. We're not Jewish but Mom is way into it right now. So don't ask when I'm cutting it. It is really curly and with my beautiful eyes people sometimes tell the 'rents how beautiful their girl is. I'm man enough to not let it get to me. I still love bath time. I learned how to kick and man is that awesome. I can't wait till summer when I can go to the water park all the time and Oceanside. I am standing on my own a little more and can walk while holding on to things. I can clap! I clap all the time now. I still love to dance and play peek-a-boo. I love to eat big boy food and to drink water from a cup. I am so crazy about my Daddy. I just love him so much. Mom blames herself for having to leave me at such an early age but I love her too. I love to give kisses. I really like other babies but sometimes I like to touch their faces and mom tells me "no". I think "no" is a funny word. I love to be chased and to knock down towers. I am still a happy guy. I've had a rough time with sleep the past few nights. I'm trying to work on that. I guess turning one is a big deal. I'm pretty excited for my party. I'll keep you posted!

Love,
Porter

Matchy Matchy

2011-03-17T13:24:00.001-07:00

I wanted Porter's little onesize from BabyGap the moment I saw it. Because it was from BabyGap I wouldn't buy it at full price (EVERYTHING goes on sale there) so I waited. And waited. And then it happened. It went on super sale. And I NEEDED it. But they didn't have Porter's size (well the size I wanted, Porter was still very much inside my belly) so I checked the baby manaquin and it was the size I wanted. So I took the baby manquin and told them I wanted to buy it. The onesize, not the doll. And then while shopping with my sister Katie, I saw the shirt I'm wearing at Forever 21 and new it would match. So she bought it for my birthday. For me to hoard until I popped that kid out, lost some weight and could wear it. Together. Who said mommy's and their boy's can't match???

Chinese New Year!

2011-03-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

I cannot wait until we get to celebrate Chinese New Year in Asia. Hopefully that wont be too far in the future. Until then we will keep on celebrating it here in Provo, UT. I was lame and didn't plan a whole shin-dig this time but we still went to China Lilly with our friends, Katie and Joey (why didn't I take a group picture?). Silvia was there (when isn't she?) and she loved seeing Porter. She guessed that I was having a boy before I new, we told Scott and Corinne the news there, had Caleb's graduation lunch there and have some of the best memories there. Of course she gave us our favorite appitizer for free and our favorite dessert. Man I miss Taiwan.

Snowshoeing, it's a verb

2011-03-17T13:11:00.001-07:00

I realize that my lack of blogging may make it seem like we do nothing. I promise we are busy. And then we have fun. This was one of those times. We deceided to embrace the snow and get out and do some shoeing, some snowshoeing. It took us awhile to finally start our snowshoeing adventure so we didn't get to stay out as long as we liked but it was fun. And beautiful. Porter was warm in his snow outfit (from BabyGap and more than 60% off) he loved being in the backpack but did NOT want to keep his head in the cover. So the entire time we hiked he leaned out the right side so he could see. His little nose was red and cold! Caleb's friend Joey came with us even though my friend Katie was sick at home. We missed you!

Bink-aholic

2011-03-17T13:07:00.001-07:00

Pman is addicted. He LOVES his binky. And sometimes I love to watch him suck on it. And other times I love to see what creative way he will chew on it. One day, not soon but not too far way, there will be an intervention. Until then suck away.

Lo Lo Lo VE

2011-03-17T13:00:00.001-07:00

This Lover's Day was a bit more relaxed than some we've had in the past. My sister Katie and her two kiddos came down and we went to lunch and did a little shopping, then when Porter and I came home I found a surprise in the kitchen. Caleb got me flowers and decorated (and a story of course). We went to Happy Summo and got take out and came home and ate up and watched a movie. Porter loved his Valentine's toys from his grandma's and he loved his card that Mama mailed to him. I love lover's day. I love you hubs!

10 Month (in February)

2011-03-17T12:44:00.001-07:00

Hey There,
So life has been busy. I meant to post this in February but I had so much going on, so please forgive me. I am 10 months old! Everyone loves my curly hair and I pretty much love it too. I really love bath time and play time and nap time. My 'rents found me an amazing babysitter. Her name is Rebekha and I love her. I really like to go on walks and check everything out. I say "yeah" all the time. Ask me a question and I will most likely answer "yeah". When my mom picks up a call I say "yeah" really loud. I am a crawling machine. Stairs don't scare me. My Mom also taught me how to dance. She says it's one of her favorite things. I love watching her dance, it just cracks me up but dancing with her is even better. My Dad taught me how to blow and now I can blow bubbles if you give me a straw. I am so close to standing on my own. Everyone keeps saying "it'll happen any day now" or "he'll be walking by tomorrow" but I just go at my own pace. I love to play peek-a-boo. That's another trick mom taught me. I put my head down and then lift it up. Sometimes people don't realize that I'm playing with them so I play even faster and then my 'rents tell them how to play. I love to eat and love puffs. I love to throw the ball, dad taught me this one. Pretty much I love to play anything with balls, I even crawl around with them in my hands. Here is my score: weight: 17-18 lbs, height: tall,teeth:just the bottom two still, brains: super smart, tricks: pretty much advanced, cuteness: almost too much to handle. Life is good.

Love,
Porter

Lent it Begin

2011-03-09T17:57:00.000-08:00

Happy Ash Wednesday. And happy first day of Lent. Lent is not an LDS (Latter Day Saint/Mormon) Holiday but I have participated in it since High School. This year for Lent I am giving up eating out and recreational shopping! I enjoy both a little too much so this year will truly be a challange. So: 40 days and 40 nights NO shopping and No eating out. Wish me luck! What are YOU doing for Lent?

Not Un-grateful

2011-03-01T10:13:00.000-08:00

If you are wondering why I have posted 4 blogs on a morning that I should be at work...it's because I have strep throat. And not allowed back at work until I have been on anitibiotics for 24 hrs. And that time isn't close yet. I felt bad about my Alexander post. It was a bad day. But I don't want to come off as if I have nothing good in my life. Yes, some things are bad right now. But, I have an amazing hubs who loves me and takes really good care of me. I have a sweet baby that knows when Mommy doesn't feel well, like yesterday when he would stop playing and crawl over to me and give me hugs. I have a sister that would drop everything and come with her 2 babies to help me. I have a mom that I can call and cry to whenever I need. I have friends that are so willing to help, even with everything they have going on in their lives. My family is healthy. I may have some health issues, and it will take some time before we figure them out but I have it better then most "sick" people. I have a beautiful home that we rent, food on the table (lately cooked by the hubs or purchased by the hubs). I have it good. And I am HAPPY. So I hope I don't come off as Debbie Downer. Yes, bad days happen. And I will blog about them. But I realized it's been awhile since I have said how happy and grateful I am for the GOOD things in life.

Highlights of 2010

2011-03-01T07:15:00.000-08:00

2010 was full of some serious changes. Our biggest obviously was the birth of Porter. Caleb was released from the Singles Ward ( The calling is only a year long and our year was up) Caleb graduated from BYU, we celebrated our third year anniversary, we took our baby to Oceanside, I had some painful recovery issues, we found strength in our marriage that hadn't been tried before and found that having a baby was better than we could have ever imagined. Even with all the health issues I had, 2010 was a great year. We went through a lot, things that don't need to be mentioned and some things that I don't want to remember. 2010, sorry I wished you away, it really was a good year. Bring it on 2011.

Christmas 2010 (in March)

2011-03-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

I believe it is never too late to catch up. So here is our Christmas in California. It was amazing. We were able to see our friends Becka and Brian (move here) and their sweet little guy, and Porter's BFF. We saw my grandparents and Caleb's grandpa and brother and nephew. I was able to go for a lot of runs and spend some quality time with my family. Porter is a rock star on planes. He rarely cries and handles it like a champ. He loved seeing family. Christmas with a baby in one word: AMAZING! And he didn't even know what was going on. I can hardly wait for the rest of this boy's life. One picture shows my sister Kelly and I at church. We did not plan that outfit! We both got the sweater for Christmas and we had the skirt from years ago. Great minds think identical if you ask me. Christmas was really great and Porter was spoiled rotter. Also great in my book. I had a wonderful birthday keeping with the tradition of eating at Simple Simon's for lunch. I love being home for the holidays!

Birthday Bliss

2011-03-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

Caleb threw me a surprise birthday party this year! He had our bestest friends come and meet us for dinner at a yummy restruant in the Riverwoods and then cake with some other friends! It was so fun. It's hard to believe I am 24 ( point 3). Thanks Babe!

Do you know Alexander?

2011-02-15T12:12:00.000-08:00

He had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and wanted to move to Australia. He and I are on the same page. Today is indeed a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and I want to move to Australia, or Taiwan. I hate to post this before I post about Porter's 10 month or about my amazing Valentine's day but alas I am feeling Alexander and so here we are. First, let's start with the babysitter woes of my life lately. We had a babysitter for Porter that we were very unhappy with to say the LEAST. Then one day I came home and Porter had a huge bump and scratch on his head. And she lied. Needless to say I let her go. So then we were babysitter less. So we had a friend from the ward fill in and he did an amazing job. Too bad he has another job lined up. Then we had another girl from our ward fill in. She had to leave for a job interview while watching Porter so her husband stepped in. Then she fed him COWS MILK. Then today she sent me a text that she was too sick and needed to go home. So I left during my lunch. I am not heartless I know how bad it is to be sick. I have been SICK. But why not tell me in the morning? Oh well. She is super cute and adorable but also has a job lined up. And she fed him COWS MILK. So I don't know what to do. I have a job. A real job. A career. I have had it for over three years. I LOVE my job. I love that I use my formal education and I love the kids and people I work with. I am pretty good at my job. But I have a BABY. And he is my priority. So what's a girl to do? I wish my mom lived close, I wish Caleb's mom lived close so I could use the love of a grandmother to watch her grandson. I wish my sister's didn't live so far away. I wish I knew what to do. But I don't. So I want to move to Australia.

And because I am on a roll and telling you(all three of you) about my woes. Here it goes. My health. As you may recall ever since having Porter I have had some health issues (uh hem) down there. I didn't heal right and grew some tissue that had to be BURNED off without any numbing agents. Then that didn't work so they had to do it again. And then my womanly part wasn't getting enough estrogen from nursing Porter so it responded to everything as pain. If you haven't had this problem you might not be able to understand it. Imagine going in for a pap and the second the dr touches you it feels like a needle is being stuck into your skin. That is honestly how it felt/feels. I have gone on some meds and done some other things to help but seriously I am so sick of it. (Anyone else suffer from this strange disorder?).
And then the blood clot. Seriously who gets a blood clot down there? And I have to have a colonoscopy. YUP. Things are just not right in my body and today in my soul. I'm down. I need things to pick up. I need something to change.

I know count your blessings. I do. Believe me I do. But just for today it is a terrible, horrible, no good, very VERY bad day and I want to move to Australia.

If you are trying to reach me...

2011-02-07T08:18:00.000-08:00

You can't. This morning while giving Porter a bath my phone slipped out of my pocket and into the water. I grabbed it right away and took it apart and dried it off but its still not working. It is still in a bowl of rice as we speak. Any more tricks you know of? So if you are trying to reach me, email me or text Caleb. But he doesn't know about my phone not working so maybe if my sister Katie sees this she can text him and tell him what happened and then he can email me? UGGGGHHHH! How the heck did people ever live without cell phones?

Put a cherry on top

2011-01-30T12:59:00.000-08:00

Just to put the cherry on top of this really crappy week, I got a sinus infection with a brewing ear infection and worst of all....Porter has croup. It has been terrible. My poor baby is so sad and sick. He still wants to play and do fun things but he has to rest his head every so often. He wants to be chased and crawl around but when he laughs it makes him cough and that is the saddest sound in the world. I feel terrible that Porter is sick. We went one week shy of 10 months of him never getting sick. I hope he can recover from this quickly. We have a cool mist humidifier and we take him outside in the freezing cold when he starts coughing and hold him all night when he is miserable but it has to run its course. So sad. In other words, you are invited to my pity party. Its going on now.

Pain in the bum (literally)

2011-01-26T13:47:00.000-08:00

I really debated about blogging on this issue. For one is very personal and for two it is disgusting. But Caleb has been doubting that anyone reads my blog anymore and I figure a post like this will prove him wrong! Saturday I wasn't feeling very well. I went and did a hardcore workout with my new and favorite gym friend Katie. It totally kicked my trash. And then Sunday I didn't feel so hot either. And Sunday night I mentioned to Caleb that I might have a hemorrhoid (I told you this is disgusting). And on Monday I was having some trouble walking, sitting and moving. But I still went to the gym and ran 7 miles (I'm training for a 1/2 marathon after all) and when I finished running I almost passed out. I was in so much pain I couldn't handle it. I called my mom and she said "go to urgent care". Caleb came home and suggested I call a friend to watch Porter because he was taking me to urgent care right now. Thanks to very nice neighbors and friends someone came and stayed while we went to urgent care. Let's skip the embarrassing stuff and get right down to it. My hemorrhoid had a BLOOD CLOT. So my military Doc got his tools and went to town. It was so painful. He cleaned, then cut and then drained the clot. HOLY COW! It hurt, and not just my pride. We left with a prescription of pain meds thinking I would be running again the next day. NOT SO. I was in so much pain. I have been in so much pain. I went back to the Doc today and she fixed me up a little bit more and gave me a fresh dose of pain meds. "Have mercy" has a whole new meaning for me. So I have missed work this week, Porter has watched more TV in 2 days than in his entire life and I have had a real pain in the bum. There it's out. It's disgusting. But true. Words cannot describe how alone and hurt and scared I have felt. But I have an amazing hubs, a sweet baby who just laughs when I am crying trying to sit down, some truly wonderful friends that watch Porter and drop off my favorite kind of ice cream. I can't be alone on this issue though...anyone want to share???

9 months

2011-01-24T14:37:00.000-08:00

Hey there!
It's me Porter. I am nine months old! Man how time goes. I am a crawling machine. I can crawl everywhere and love to do it. I can pull myself up and am trying to walk around while holding on. I love to eat! Who knew there was so many wonderful foods in the world? I love my little puffs. I get my pincher fingers out and pick them up. My Mommy says I am a hoarder because I get my left fist full of food and hold in it until I have eaten all the food with my right hand. I can wave "hello" and "goodbye". I give kisses. I love to give kisses to my Mommy and sometimes to my Daddy. Sometimes his face has hair on it and I do not like my lips on that. I am still a very happy smiley baby. I love to play! I think singing is funny and am working on clapping and patty cake with my Mommy. I still love other kids and sometimes I just want to hold their face in my hands. Apparently that's frowned upon by some people. I love my binky. My Mommy says I am a bink-aholic and that we will have to tackle this issue some day but not today. I went to the Dr. for my checkup and here's my score:
Height: 29 and 1/4 (75%)
Weight: 17.2 (yep that's a one pound lost. The 'rents are all stressed out but my Dr says I am just fine) (10%)
Head: 46 and 1/2 cm (50-75%)
The weight issue has had my 'rents all worried but I am working on it and am eating tons. My doctor told my Mommy I was talented over 5 times and advanced and whatever she was doing to keep doing it so I guess I am doing A-OK. I really love life and am really a very happy boy. Thanks for checking in!
Love,
Porter

8 months

2011-01-24T14:29:00.000-08:00

Hello World,
It's me Porter again. I am 8 months old! I can crawl all over the place! I am getting so big. My hair is curly and has wings over my ears and the ladies just go crazy over it. My Mommy loves my hair and plays with it all the time. I am really into my food now. I just had to learn about some flavors first. My Daddy is still my favorite person and I love to play with him. I still shine on the changing table. I love it when Mommy comes home and cry if she tries to site me down to wash her hands. All day with some other women is not my idea of fun! I really like to hold on to things with my hands and still like to chew on a lot of stuff. I am sleeping pretty well at night. My mommy says I'm teething but all I know is this spit keeps pouring out of my mouth and the 'rents have to change my shirts a lot. I love to play and LOVE to read books. I really like peek a boo. I don't know how you kids play peek a boo but my Daddy holds me and my Mommy runs around the house and pops out around all the corners! Man it is hilarious! You guys should play it that way sometime. I am getting kinda cuddly. I will occasionally lay my head on your shoulder usually when my 'rents are putting me down to sleep. Life is great and I am one happy boy! Thanks for checking in!

Love,
Porter

7 months

2011-01-24T14:22:00.000-08:00

Hey World,
I have been so busy loving life that I haven't taken the time to sit down and tell you all my accomplishments. This is my 7 month picture. As you can see I am growing so much. I have tons of hair that I love to have brushed. I am such a ham. The picture ladies at Sears Portraits love me! If you look at me I will give you a huge open mouth smile. I don't have any teeth yet but I sure like to chew on things. I am not really into my food right now. I sit up like a champ. I love the changing table. It is really my time in the spotlight. I love other kids, big and little. I love going for walks but am not a fan of being really cold. My Daddy is my favorite person in the whole wide world. This hurts my Mommy's feelings but I try to tell her it's just a guy thing. She is my favorite girl in the whole entire world. Well life is good and busy. Just wanted to say hi!

Love,
Porter

Pictures!!!

2011-01-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

Please take a moment and enjoy the precious pictures my sister Kristie took of Porter (and us) while we were in California by looking at the next three posts. As you can tell she is talented. We are just crazy about them. What do you think?

2011-01-09T21:02:00.001-08:00

2011-01-09T20:51:00.001-08:00

2011-01-09T20:47:00.001-08:00

Hope Santa treated you as well as he did us...

2011-01-09T20:39:00.000-08:00

We are

2010-12-28T09:40:00.000-08:00

Alive and well, despite our lack of blogging! Things have been so crazy lately. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with some friends at Ihop and the movies and put on a rocking Christmas Party for our Ward, I went part time at work (now only 3 days a week) and went to California for a wonderful Birthday and Christmas. Stay tuned: tons of pictures, Porter's 7th, 8th and 9th month blog (yikes), did I mention he is a crawling machine? I would love to take the time to post some pictures and tell some stories but we are in California and the weather is beautiful so it will have to wait until we are back to Utah! We hope you had a very Merry Christmas this year!

Halloween

2010-11-17T16:49:00.000-08:00

Here is Porter in his Sunday Halloween outfit. As you can tell he loved it.
Corinne and Lucy came to party! Scott and Caleb were there too, probably getting us food.
Future Mr. and Mrs............
Porter and Mommy! I promise to always dress up with my kids. I LOVE Halloween.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! A pirate family!
We didn't even have to teach him how to trick or treat......
I made The Hubs and my costume. That day. As you can tell it wasn't perfect.

6 months

2010-11-07T16:38:00.000-08:00

Hey there,
It's me Porter and I'm six months! I can't believe how fast I am growing up. I have learned lots of new tricks and love exploring my world. I can sit up all by myself and am learning to love solids. Pee's are pretty good, green beans are not. Of course I like the orange stuff and love peaches. My Mama (Grandma) gave me my first banana and I didn't care for it at all. Maybe I hated it. I love my toys and especially love toys that I can put in my mouth and chew. I enjoy going for walks in my stroller but I let you know when I'm done. I think my Mommy and Daddy are really silly and sometimes they make me laugh so hard I wet my diaper. I have a hammer toy and I love to hit it on things. I really like babies and want to grab their faces. People are always telling the 'rents how happy I am and it's true! I am a happy guy. I think life is great and I'm usually just waiting for a reason to laugh. I sleep fairly well. About 10 hours a night but when my teeth (that haven't come through yet) are bugging me I sometimes wake up and cry for a little it. I'm working on that. Anyway life is great and I love growing. Here's my stats from my 6 month Dr. apt.:
Height: 28 inches (90-95%)
Weight: 18 lbs (50-75%)
Head: 451/2 cm ( 90%)
Cheeks: super chubby and kissable
brains: probably the smartest kid around
strength: un-matched

Love,
Porter

I should..

2010-11-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

write Porter's 6 month blog (and 7th month for that matter), make my friend Corrine something amazing because I had to ditch her like a loser last night, make my friend Katiebug something because I haven't even gone to see her, call my sisters, write the grandparents cards, clean my house, do the dishes, do the laundry, take a nap....the list goes on. But instead I'll continue crying my eyes out. I am having a bad day (yet again). I feel like I have zero time and I feel like I am failing at everything. So to those of you I have failed I am sorry. And to Porter I am so sorry you see the babysitter more than you see me. Right now I feel like the world's worst mom. Actually worst everything. The end.

Dodgeball and First Celebrity

2010-10-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

That's right that's Porter with Darrin Williams the Jazz basketball player. He was actually pretty nice and sweet with Porter. Porter was cool with him but naturally skeptical of someone who makes so much money for playing a game.
I didn't make him sanitize his hands but I thought about it. Don't worry I made it clear that Porter and I are die-hard LAKERS fans. He didn't like hearing that but we can't lie.
Doesn't Caleb look so good and intimidating in this picture? This was right after a serious game. Yet again, Caleb was the best player on his team. He is by far the most athletic person I know.
He is the team! Qualtrics. Caleb is lucky enough to love his job and do fun things with the people he works with.
The day was super fun and Q should have won. No seriously, they went into sudden death over time and lost. But we went back and read the rule book and they should have won. Oh well it was super fun and I hope they do it again.

Update

2010-10-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the Y in Provo. Caleb and I love to hike and for some reason I love to hike the Y...I forgot how hard it was. Porter loved it of course.
My baby ROCKS. If you couldn't already tell. Here he is in his cute Cougar hat. Don't worry next time we are in California we will get him some CSUF gear.

He sure loves his feet!