Monday, July 21, 2008

Privacy Please!

As a newly married couple I have found that people feel entitled to personal information. Even before Caleb and I were married people would ask "when will you have kids?" This didn't bother me so much because there was no way we were even thinking about kids. However, as time goes on and on people's questions have got a little intrusive. It's not the question that bothers me so much as there shock or dislike of our answers. These inquisitive people don't like to hear "when were ready" or "never", or "oh we aren't interested in that". Usually we play around and tell people silly remarks like "oh we aren't interested in ruining our lives." We are joking of course but why can't these people back off? It really gets me going when they feel they have a right to know when we are going to start our family and WHY we haven't already. Does everyone go through this? It is very interesting and hard for me because my parents have NEVER asked Caleb and I (or any of my sisters for that) when we are going to have kids. They believe that it is between husband and wife and no one else should involve themselves. Thank you mom and dad. It seems like they and my very own siblings are the only ones that get this. If you think you are really close to us, go ahead ask us the question but please do not feel entitled to an answer and please do NOT get into they whys and why nots of it. It's between Caleb and me. And we'll stick to our rude answers as long as people feel so invasive. We've only been married a little over a year and thats hardly time enough in both our opinions to start a new life. Also am I the only one who had these questions? Over and over? Did anyone else suffer? Is anyone else suffering? Maybe it's a good sign for you if I'm alone on this one.

10 comments:

Katie said...

But really, why aren't you having kids yet?

Just kidding - I'm sorry people are bugging you. I have a funny story for you on this topic, but it's about me - so I won't post it on your blog ;)

Kendra and Caleb said...

Ha ha! Thats awesome. Honestly can't people get some manners?!?!

Mrs. Hornberger said...

Me and Jared think your "rude" answers are not rude, and are hilarious. We also enjoy the responses you have ready for when people ask "what are you going to name your kids?"

P.S. I think the intrusive child bearing question/opinion is a utah thing. Just like teenage marriage :)

KRISTIE said...

just tell you have been trying since day one, and nothing is working so you are trying to save your money for ivf, which may take several years to get that kind of money. that will scare them off

Mafuta said...

Kendra,
I can't remember ever asking you that question and I am not your Father, Mother, or sibling!

We always had the opposite problem of people asking us if we knew the cause of why we had babies.

We always responded with a sarcastic response something like "of course we know, do you?"

bean said...

People will keep asking even after you have kids... how many will you have?... when will you have another?... it gets old. I hear ya!!

The Murdocks said...

I totally know what you mean and it is so annoying. Neither my parents nor Jeremy's parents have ever asked us that. It is a very personal question and I've never been sure how to answer it. So thanks for giving me some ideas.

Mindy said...

Kendra,

You probably won't see this in time, but JoEllen is in town. So Erika, JoEllen, and I are getting together tonight at my place and I wanted to tell you to come but I don't have your number. So anyway, if you get this before tonight then e-mail me. mindygrover@gmailcom

Melissa said...

Hi Kendra!! I just found your blog AND I totally just posted about this same idea. We get the "when are you going to have kids?" question, but what bugs me more than that is "How's married life?" like being married makes a difference when people want to know how I'm doing....Weird?...Definitely. My cousin left a comment and said to wait till you're pregnant, and every five seconds its, "how are you feeling?" That should get old pretty fast!

Laura and Robert Hoggard said...

Hey guys!!
Sorry for asking that question to you two. I did not realize so many people were asking that. Sometimes I talk so much about Dakota that I don't know what else to talk about but that does not mean I should ask that. Sorry about that. I will not ask again. Plus I really don't want to know. Everyone used to ask me that question too...and then our little (big) accident happened.