He had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and wanted to move to Australia. He and I are on the same page. Today is indeed a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and I want to move to Australia, or Taiwan. I hate to post this before I post about Porter's 10 month or about my amazing Valentine's day but alas I am feeling Alexander and so here we are. First, let's start with the babysitter woes of my life lately. We had a babysitter for Porter that we were very unhappy with to say the LEAST. Then one day I came home and Porter had a huge bump and scratch on his head. And she lied. Needless to say I let her go. So then we were babysitter less. So we had a friend from the ward fill in and he did an amazing job. Too bad he has another job lined up. Then we had another girl from our ward fill in. She had to leave for a job interview while watching Porter so her husband stepped in. Then she fed him COWS MILK. Then today she sent me a text that she was too sick and needed to go home. So I left during my lunch. I am not heartless I know how bad it is to be sick. I have been SICK. But why not tell me in the morning? Oh well. She is super cute and adorable but also has a job lined up. And she fed him COWS MILK. So I don't know what to do. I have a job. A real job. A career. I have had it for over three years. I LOVE my job. I love that I use my formal education and I love the kids and people I work with. I am pretty good at my job. But I have a BABY. And he is my priority. So what's a girl to do? I wish my mom lived close, I wish Caleb's mom lived close so I could use the love of a grandmother to watch her grandson. I wish my sister's didn't live so far away. I wish I knew what to do. But I don't. So I want to move to Australia.
And because I am on a roll and telling you(all three of you) about my woes. Here it goes. My health. As you may recall ever since having Porter I have had some health issues (uh hem) down there. I didn't heal right and grew some tissue that had to be BURNED off without any numbing agents. Then that didn't work so they had to do it again. And then my womanly part wasn't getting enough estrogen from nursing Porter so it responded to everything as pain. If you haven't had this problem you might not be able to understand it. Imagine going in for a pap and the second the dr touches you it feels like a needle is being stuck into your skin. That is honestly how it felt/feels. I have gone on some meds and done some other things to help but seriously I am so sick of it. (Anyone else suffer from this strange disorder?).
And then the blood clot. Seriously who gets a blood clot down there? And I have to have a colonoscopy. YUP. Things are just not right in my body and today in my soul. I'm down. I need things to pick up. I need something to change.
I know count your blessings. I do. Believe me I do. But just for today it is a terrible, horrible, no good, very VERY bad day and I want to move to Australia.
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5 comments:
My friend!! I'm sorry you're down. I love you so much and please remember I'm always here and I would LOVE it if you would let me help watch Porter or whatever you need. Life will get easier, I promise! Plus, we're going to have an AWESOME weekend with B & B. xoxo
Sending you love!
Kendra! Same EXACT page! It is a strange thing, isn't it? Also strange we share so many woes coming from that region of the body, haha! (now my question is, why are we only blogging buddies??) It kinda feels like getting a horrendously excruciating rug burn down there every time you want to be intimate with your husband, huh? I only know of one other person who has suffered from this (not that I go around asking people..). My doctor told me it is how some people's bodies react to progesterone, which is released during nursing. My doctor said that my tissues inside were gray rather than nice and pink and it was kind of like they were really unhealthy decaying (for lack of a better word). As soon as I stopped nursing and stopped my progesterone based birth control, and with the help of an estrogen cream, it took less than 2 weeks until I was able to enjoy being with my husband again.
Porter is 10 months? That is really close to a year. I would never tell anyone to stop nursing- one one hand you could live with it another 2 months, but on the other Porter could live on formula for 2 months.
It is a tough decision, and I definitely can not say what is right for you, because it's a personal decision, but after going through that last time, I knew that this time I needed to do what I could for my baby, but put my relationship with my hubs as my #1 priority, which is why I said I'd only planned on nursing for about 4 months. It was a tough call, and easier for me to make because I'm not good at breastfeeding anyway. Good luck, hope it gets better soon!
So sorry to hear you have been having a hard time! I live in Draper...Too bad we don't live closer or I would watch Porter everyday! I can't believe that girl gave him Cow's milk...I would have FREAKED out and probably started crying...Cuz I'm always so emotional :) I hope your body gets back to itself soon!!!
Kendra--where do you live? Also, I'm sorry you've been having a rough time! Keep on keeping on.
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