Wrong Turn

I promise we had an amazing birthday, Christmas and crazy move. But the pictures will have to wait. We don't have internet set up yet so I've been blogging from my phone.

Today is a Monday. And I've had a bad case of the mondays. I blame it on waking up at 530 to go to a pump class at 6 am. Yes, I got my workout on but now I'm paying the price for waking up that early. I am NOT a morning person. Maybe in my dreams I would be, but usually it turns to a nightmare.

It started with a disappointing drs appointment. Where the big question wasn't answered. Lovely. Go ahead and keep my 30 bucks. Not like I needed it anyway. And you did such a thorough job. You totally earned it. Not.

Then I got a call from my lady and she mentioned how she was helping my sister. And then I turned green. Possibly emerald green. And this is where I took the wrong turn. I sat and felt so sorry for myself. Sorry that we don't have more money. Sorry that finding a suitable and afforable daycare for pman is so hard. Sorry that I have to cook dinner because we really can't afford to eat out (though I would if we could. Like every night.) Sorry that everyone has it easier than me. Sorry that we made a choice to provide for our family and be honest and work hard and not take handouts that are there for those that desperately need them, not because they are there. This sorry lasted only a second. This is the one area where I am truly republican. And proud of it. Then I felt sorry about my car. About how much I dislike it. How I know it needs new tires but those cost a pretty penny. Then I felt sorry for feeling sorry.

And that's when I realized it. I simply took a wrong turn. I forgot to find the joy in my journey. Just for this little bit. I am so grateful I get to go to the gym. I would go crazy if I couldn't. I'm grateful I have insurance and can figure out what's going on. Granted it will be with a new doctor. I am grateful for my sisters and that there lives are full and happy. I am grateful for my mom who does so much to bless other peoples lives I sometimes worry whose taking care of her. I am grateful we have a fridge full of food and that I can cook using fresh vegetables. I am grateful that I have a sister who is watching pman while I get this whole daycare thing figured out. I'm so grateful I only have to work two days. And that I have the best jobs in the world. Mom, wife and speech tech. I love each one tremendously. I'm grateful that Caleb and I are honest, hard working. And that we are paying off our debts on our own. And earning every single dollar we make. That's something I am really grateful for. I am grateful for my car. Sure I want a Chevy traverse. Bad. But that can wait.

Because I am loving this journey. Yes, its hard. So hard. But I've got my best friend to cuddle with a night and laugh about how we are going to enjoy the finer things of life...one day. I'm enjoying this little boy we created. Twos are a hard age, I'm learning. But I've learned to bite my tongue and count to a hundred. And laugh. Cuz this kid is pretty Dang funny. And while I will stress about the bills, the tires and the babysitter. I know that this is not the end. This is the journey. And I'm having one heck of a ride. And today a took a wrong turn. I forgot what really matters. I let myself get distracted by those passing me by. But its ok now. I did a u-turn and I'm back on track. And couldn't be happier. And if you stop by or happen to see me, the Windows were down in the car today, that's why my hair looks like this. Just enjoying the breeze.