Remember, Remember

Porter will be ONE on Sunday. There are some things I want to REMEMBER:

*All of my pregnancy tests came out negative. I was so disappointed. I have to have blood work done to know. Remember that for the next time.
*Pregnancy is HARD-I threw up a LOT, I passed out at work, I threw up a LOT, I got SWINE FLU, I was in the hospital, I threw up a LOT and then had a beautiful baby boy
*The first time we heard your heartbeat was like music to my ears. We both cried.
*The first time I felt you move was during a Harry Potter movie at the dollar theater. I thought my heart would burst.
*You never liked for me to lye on my side. You would push until I moved
*I thought that if I tapped my belly to the beat of a song you would come out with rhythm. Porter's got some serious moves. Must have worked.
*I was terrified of giving birth. I should have been terrified of the recovery.
*The moment the nurse told me you weren't doing so well during the 2nd non-stress test my heart stopped
*Every time the nurses came in and checked on us and then left to call the doctor my heart stopped.
*When they told me they would have to use a vacuum to get you out (after over 2 HOURS of actively pushing) I was terrified. When they told me Porter would be out in ten minutes I was thrilled.
*The Dr. told me to look at you as you came out. I did. It was so strange.
*The second I knew you were ok my heart leaped. Then I felt like super-woman
*The first time I held you in my arms I knew I would do whatever it took to take care of you.
*Breastfeeding is HARD.
*The first time you fussed (at around 3 weeks) I called my mom and asked her what to do and to please come back.
*The first time you smiled I knew I would do whatever it took to see that for the rest of my life
*Recovery is hard. At least for me.
*The first time you roller over I cried. I was at work. And missed it.
*The first time you sat up I cried. I was there and so proud.
*The first time you crawled it was to get my hair. We screamed and laughed and maybe cried.
*The first time you clapped I was so proud.
*Leaving you to go to work with someone other than family is HARD. Every time.
*Every time you meet a developmental milestone my heart is full of gratitude (remember I work with kids that are way behind)
*The first time you got sick I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. The fact that it was my fault made me feel sick to my stomach. I am STILL so sorry.
*The fact that you love bath time and water makes me so proud.
*The way you laugh and giggle is honestly the cutest thing in the world.
*We can hardly carry on a conversation that doesn't revolve around you and how cute you are. And we like that.
*I thank Heavenly Father everyday for you.
*You love to play with balls. Daddy is so proud.
*I never thought having a boy could be this fun. I hope I have another one next.
*You are so cuddly. I taught you how to kiss and hug and every single one of those is to die for.
*This has been a hard year.
*This has been a trying year.
*This has been a growing year.
*This has been the most miraculous year of my life.
*I can't believe you will be ONE. I can't believe that I get to be your Mommy. I love you Porter.